Press Release
June 1, 2009
The formerly known Houston Astros would like to thank all of our fans in Houston who have supported us over the years. After careful consideration, we have decided to move the team to Varitek City and will rename the team the All Star's.
In late May, we were approached by the grandfathered All Star, Jason Varitek, who in case you are unaware, has caught four no hitters in his career, FOUR. He offered us a contract that we couldn't resist. The key features of the deal include:
1. All of our players will make an all star game for each all star game they are actually chosen for. For example, if a player makes it one year, they are guaranteed to be voted in to one more.
2. Jason Varitek will be our teams Spokesman and Announcer
3. He will teach our catchers how to catch four no hitters
4. He promises to have 6 sons, all with different partners who will eventually be guaranteed to play on our team (In case you didn't know, Jason Varitek is kind of important and can have the MLB allow this)
5. He gave us the key to his city
Yours truly,
Bwitty24 (President of Varitek City Nation for Super All Stars)
P.S. This did not turn out nearly as well as I would have liked.