Joke

[Thomas3]

What did the fish say when it ran into a wall? DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Slyder]

Here's a world cup one for everyone.

I don't blame Suarez, I can't resist a good Italian sub either.

[HollywoodLeo]

WIN METHOD!!!!!!!!

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[HafDawg2003]

im very aroused

[Mach]

definitely a joke.

[Providence A's]

In mother Russia, road forks you!

[Cyanatic]

A Jew, a Greek, and an Irishman are all riding on a bus. The bus gets hit by a car running a red light, and they all die. Suddenly, they find themselves standing in front of the pearly gates of Heaven. They peer through the gate at how beautiful Heaven looks. They're all eager to get inside when along comes St. Peter.

The Irishman says, "St Peter! Will you be letting us into Heaven?"

St Peter looks at the three men and shakes his head. "I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to send all 3 of you to Hell."

The men are very upset and they beg and plead with St. Peter to let them into Heaven. St Peter thinks for a few moments and then says, "I'll tell you what I'll do. I will send all 3 of you back to your regular lives, but you must not commit your special sins."

The Jew says, "What special sins?"

"You each continually commit a sin that is offensive to the eyes of God. I'm not going to say what they are, but each of you knows what your own special sin is. If you live your life without committing the sin, you will go to Heaven when you die again. But if you committ the sin even one time...'poof!' ... you'll disappear and go straight to Hell.

The three men thank St. Peter for giving them another chance. They all end up back on earth and are walking down the street, feeling very grateful for their second chance. They start to pass a bar when the Irishman suddenly stops.

"You know," says the Irishman. "I've a powerful thirst after our near death experience. I could really use a shot of Irish whiskey. Why don't we go inside this bar and share a drink in celebration of our new chance at life. The Jew and the Greek shrug and agree to go inside and celebrate.

The bartender serves them their drinks, and the Irishman raises his shot glass in a toast. "To a long and sin free life!" The Irishman drains the shot glass and..POOF! The Irishman disappears.

The Jew and the Greek are terrified and decide to leave the bar. They're walking down the street again when the Jew looks down at the sidewalk and suddenly says, "Stop!"

"What is it?" asks the Greek.

"Right there! A penny on the sidewalk!"

The Jew steps in front of the Greek, bends over to pick up the penny, and...POOF! The Greek disappears.

[Cyanatic]

It's confession day at an abbey, and 3 new nuns have to go see the Reverend Mother to tell her their sins.

First nun goes in and says, "Reverend Mother, I touched a man's penis last week."

"Say 3 Hail Marys and go wash your hands in the holy fountain."

The second nun goes in and says, "Reverend Mother, I used both my hands to stroke a man's penis last week."

"Say 5 Hail Marys, 3 Our Fathers, and go wash your hands in the holy fountain.

The first two nuns are busy washing their hands at the holy fountain when the third nun comes running over and shoves them both out of the way.

"Move over!" she says. "I have to gargle!"

[Lynch]

It's confession day at an abbey, and 3 new nuns have to go see the Reverend Mother to tell her their sins.

First nun goes in and says, "Reverend Mother, I touched a man's penis last week."

"Say 3 Hail Marys and go wash your hands in the holy fountain."

The second nun goes in and says, "Reverend Mother, I used both my hands to stroke a man's penis last week."

"Say 5 Hail Marys, 3 Our Fathers, and go wash your hands in the holy fountain.

The first two nuns are busy washing their hands at the holy fountain when the third nun comes running over and shoves them both out of the way.

"Move over!" she says. "I have to gargle!"