My thoughts on MLB Free Agency 08-09

[TheRollingStoned]

When I was younger... I played the movie industry like a fiend.. and got richer and richer... for doing great movies. As I got older.. I picked terrible movies.. because they were willing to make me richer and richer... I FELT EMPOWERED. As free agency for baseball looms.. I wanted to analyze the creme of the crop... and tell you how they could suck like Ellen Barkin's career...


Manny Ramirez.. he's slightly ****ed up.. he reminds me of me, if I weighed 100 lbs more and had real hair.. he will get a big contract despite being old.. it never stopped Bob De Niro... but everyone questions if he will just tank it after he signs a deal.. I SAY THOSE PEOPLE ARE ****ING DUCK HUNTERS, PUT THIS GUY ON A WINNER AND HE'S GOING TO EAT BASEBALLS FOR ****ING SNACKS.. HAAAAAA! HE'S STAYING IN CALIFORNIA, MARK IT DOWN

Ben Sheets.. you know who Ben Sheets is? Gilbert Arenas.. great talent, could lead his team, BUT THE ****ING WIND CAN PUT HIM ON THE DL... HE'S THE TYPE OF NANCY BOY THE YANKEES WILL GANG TACKLE. MARK IT DOWN

CC Sabathia.. will break a record.. for biggest contract by a pitcher... and will celebrate by eating your best hitter.. I don't trust the big boys. WOULD YOU PAY.. ANTHONY ANDERSON.. TO HEADLINE A GREAT MOVIE? HAAA ****IN' NAAAAH. He shocks the world... and stays with the brewers. MARK IT DOWN.

Francisco Rodriguez... I know what you all are thinking.. the mets should ram their penis in this guys' ear.. because the mets.. HAVE NEVER SEEN A RELIEF PITCHER SINCE JOHN FRANCO HIT PUBERTY. MARK THIS DOWN, EPIC FAILURE.

Mark Teixeira.. this guy is a player.. and should be the top target for anyone.. he hits.. hit racks up rbis.. he wins gold gloves.. AND HE DOESN'T HIT HIS GIRLFRIEND OR SMOKE CRACK, IT'S A WIN WIN FOR ANY TEAM...SO JUST KEEP HIM ANAHEIM, IT'S NOT BRAIN SCIENCE

Luis Ayala.. will be signed by LJShorty's wiffle ball team.. for a pancake and some bacon.. AND HE WILL COST THEM THE CHAMPIONSHIP AGAINST THE 15 AND UNDER GIRLS SQUAD. GIRL SCOUT COOKIES ALL AROUND, HOO HAA

Rafael Furcal.. he's secretly older than me.. but he still runs faster than Curtis Jackson fleeing the police.. he should stay with the dodgers.. cause Nomar WON'T CUT IT.. WON'T CUT IT.

Derek Lowe.. you all jumped on his ass wagon.. cause he was supposed to be the great playoff equalizer.. ONLY HE IS DEREK LOWE.. AND THE DEREK LOWE FACE HAS RETURNED, HOO HAA!!!.. Lowe will be pitching.. for the team he beat in the 1st round, MARK IT DOWN POOPFACES, IT'S THE CUBS, YEAAAAH!

[NYgiantsfan5689]

this is incredible

[Dry1313]

Incredibly stupid.

You're a homosexual, Roy.

[ljshorty89]

I'm jewish. I don't keep bacon...

[browntown653]

Hey Al, Ellen Barkin was in Ocean's 13 with you! How can you knock her career?!

[Kingdom]

They worked together way before that, child.

[Luis Ayala]

Luis Ayala.. will be signed by LJShorty's wiffle ball team.. for a pancake and some bacon.. AND HE WILL COST THEM THE CHAMPIONSHIP AGAINST THE 15 AND UNDER GIRLS SQUAD. GIRL SCOUT COOKIES ALL AROUND, HOO HAA

Please! Do not be so disrespectful 2008 very strange year Luis play hurt career era before 2008 esta under 3 Luis very very good pitcher you see 2009 Luis play much better senor

[browntown653]

Please! Do not be so disrespectful 2008 very strange year Luis play hurt career era before 2008 esta under 3 Luis very very good pitcher you see 2009 Luis play much better senor

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

DK, you are horrible

[DirtyKash]

Huh?

[Kingdom]

"He play dumb"

[TheRollingStoned]

I'm jewish. I don't keep bacon...

Welcome to ....me not caring if you were a Buddhist ..or a ****ing male whore, YOUR BULLPEN SMELLED WORSE THAN MY LAST TRIP.. TO THE MEN'S BATHROOM. DOESN'T CHANGE ANYTHING RABBI.