*Breaking News* LA Dodgers owner/GM charged with fraud and insider trading

[Impossibles]

By Chuck Newtown, AP Writer

LOS ANGELES - Los Angeles Dodgers owner and general manager known only as 'Mr. Impossibles' was arrested today for alleged insider trading and tax evasion outside his West Anahiem home early monday morning.

Following his arrest, his attourneys issued this statement to the media:

"I regret to inform my fans and employees that due to unrelated charges, I will no longer be able to manage and own the Los Angeles Dodgers. I assure you this decision was not taken lightly, and my attournies will continue with all team decisions until a suitable buyer has stepped up to purchase the team from my estate. To my fans and colleagues, I offer my sincerest apologies."

The charges appear to stem from a side business Mr.Impossibles had been running selling outrageous items on eBay and using his media influence to gain coverage and in turn, drive up the bidding. His most contoversial item was a piece of toast that resembled the virgin mary, as well as a pizza pop that looked like Mr.T, and a Dorito chip that resembled Jim Carrey in 'The Mask'.

He was also involved in a real estate scandal selling oceanfront property in Utah and Saskatchewan, and tried selling the dark half of the moon to russia.

Mr. Impossibles maintains he is not guilty, but expects to spend the next 2+ years in courts fighting the charges. He has decided to sell the team so somebody can run it with the attention it deserves.

Interested parties can contact his legal representative on the matter, missionhockey21.

[realmofotalk]

When I saw the thread title, my reaction was wtf McCourt and DePodesta are white collar criminals ?!?!

[Kingdom]

And the mormons are crying now.

[HuskerFan2002]

Since you're going to be a distraction to the entire league, can you give me Brett Raynor?

[General]

Nice. Someone earned a rep +