Is it really Game Over for Eric Gagne? - latimes.com
"Why did you use HGH?" I ask, and he says, "I didn't."

But he knows better. He and I have had a long relationship; he's the guy who introduced me to a children's hospital. Heart and guts, the great intimidator, eight innings of splendid work by his teammates riding on his work and almost never disappointing. How could he?

"You were using HGH, weren't you?"

"I did," he says. "I hate to talk about it. It just doesn't do anyone any good. But I thought it would help me get better when I hurt my knee. I just don't want that to sound as an excuse.

"I'm so ashamed. It wasn't smart. If I knew what I know now. . . . I didn't need it. I regret it so much, just now maybe getting over the guilt. It was stupid."
"That's all part of my past, part of my resume," he says, and when he's asked if he was doing HGH during the entire time he dominated or just part of the time, he says, "part."

But you cheated -- weren't you cheating Dodgers fans?

"In my head it was different," he says, but what will he tell his own kids about his tarnished career?

"I've been asking myself the same question, but I'll tell them straight up like I do everything else. I'll make them understand action and reactions to those actions, and making a decision and living with the consequences.

"I will have to live with the mistake that I made for the rest of my life."

The last five years his body has betrayed him, one injury after another, and so does he think it's because he was on HGH?

"I don't know how it reacts on your body like that," he says, "but from what I've heard, it doesn't help."
What****ingever. Like that was the first time a pitcher gained extra juice on his fastball going from the rotation to the bullpen and had some success. Or that there is a long list of pitchers whose success was a product of HGH/steroids.