Interactive Baseball League

[Dry1313]

WARNING: This is vomit worthy if your name is Dave Ryan


Inning- 1 l2 l3 l4 l5 l6 l7 l8 l9 l _________R l H l E l
Royals- 1 l 0l 0l 0l 1l 0l 0l 0l 2l _________4 l 8 l 0
Angels- 0 l 1l 0l 0l 4l 2l 3l 3l Xl _________13l24 l_0


Kyle Bonn- 2 for 4, single, double, 2 RBI, Run Scored, K, Stolen Base
Louis Milman- 1 for 5, single, Stolen Base
Leo Palmer- 0 for 4, K
Corey Shipplett- 2 for 4, single, double, RBI
Curtis Carson- 0 for 4
Brett Zimmerman- 0 for 4
Chris Henkel- 2 for 4, single, double, Run Scored
Matt Stairs- 3 for 4, 2 singles, double, RBI, 2 Runs Scored
Alex Gordon- 1 for 4, double, K

Dave Ryan- 7 Innings Pitched, 21 Hits, 10 Runs(10 Earned), 0 Walks, 4 Strikeouts LOSS (3-1)
Luke Hochevar- 1 Inning Pitched, 3 Hits, 3 Runs(3 Earned), 1 Walks, 0 Strikeout

Oh MAN THERE IS DEFINITELY GOING TO BE AN INTERVIEW TOMORROW

DRY IS ****ING PISSED

[ljshorty89]

Oh god. Everyone clear out of the damn clubhouse FAST. I don't want to lose a player to Dry's frustrations.

I'm gonna enjoy this interview, lol

[Dry1313]

Dave Ryan is sitting at his locker with an ace bandage wrapping ice around his arm with a Bud Ice in his lap and a cigarette in his mouth.

Questions come flying at him, and he holds up a dry erase board with this written on it:

Louis Milman- 1 for 5, single, Stolen Base
Leo Palmer- 0 for 4, K
Curtis Carson- 0 for 4
Brett Zimmerman- 0 for 4
Dave Ryan- 7 Innings Pitched, 21 Hits, 10 Runs

The reporters laugh, proceed to yell and scream again.

Ryan takes the dry erase board, and snaps it cleanly in half. He refuses to talk to anyone EXCEPT for Trey Wingo.

Reporters move on, seeing all of Palmers bats broken, Carson's entire locker spray painted pink, and Milman's little "Captain's Chair" broken, painted pink, and coated in dog feces.

ESPN hustles to hurry in Trey Wingo.

[NYgiantsfan5689]

ok, this clubhouse cannot stand for that kind of act

[Dry1313]

TW: So, DRY, I guess you are a little bit upset?
DR: Did the feces tip you off?
TW: How did you get them in here? And the pink paint?
DR: I was saving them for when Bonn fell back into his slump again.
TW: Deflecting the blame a little here, aren't we?
DR: Deflecting it? I pitched well in the beginning of the game. If ****ing Bonn knew how to call a game, this wouldn't be a problem.
TW: Wait, you mean you don't even call your own games?
DR: Not since my blowup on Bonn a few weeks ago. The ****er thought that he was "so good" and that my pitch selection was "sub par." Naturally, we tussled a little bit, and to get him to stop crying, the manager promised that he could call my ****ing game. Now I'm sitting here with a ******* loss, and probably a ticket out of town because odds are Milman, Carson and Palmer can't handle my little jokes.
TW: So wait, how bad was his pitch selection?
DR: Circle Changes are good as a change of pace pitch. When you over use them, hitters sit on you fast stuff and wait for the beach ball pitch. That's why one doesn't throw them all the time. Also, phasing out my 2 seamer at all because the "speed is weak" is stupid too. Sorry I like ground ball pitches.
TW: I guess all of that captain talk is going to stop, right?
DR: That door slammed on my ass when I mentioned it to the media. Not to mention, when you have grown men crying in the club house, I'd rather sit and face into my locker than handle these morons. You remember how Zack Grienke went ape shit when he first played here? He wasn't nuts. The people in Kansas City, the people high in the club, eat ****ing lollipops for dinner. They drive the best of us insane. If I can't call my game, I'm going to lose.
TW: So I saw you destroyed everyone's stuff who performed poorly except for the girl. Why is that?
DR: It'll come back tenfold during her ****ing menopause.
TW: Ouch. Why did you request me?
DR: It was either you or Jim Rome. I didn't ask for Rome because his ego is already too big and I already have a punching bag I can use here.
TW: I mean, do you want to analyze the game? If you're moved, where would you like to go?
DR: **** this game. Only an idiot asshole would've left me in after I gave up my 5th run. As far as trades, I don't see myself getting moved, but if I do, it will be the NL, and that's where I'd want to go. They don't want me stopping them getting there, and I would want to shut them down in Game 4 and celebrate on this field so that I don't make my promise of dousing my teammates with champagne after we win the series in KC.
TW: Care to say anything else?
DR: **** the management. I just want to make sure that gets across. Also, send me Jeremy Schapp tomorrow. I'm sort of out of it now. Tomorrow, you'll get the real deal.

[NYgiantsfan5689]

a) shake me off if you don't like the pitch selection
b) LITTLE jokes?!
c) I want this man out. I refuse to catch another one of this 3-year old's games. You insult the players, front office, and most importantly your fans like that, you can't stay. So what, you have a bad game. Get over it you whiny piece of shit.

[ljshorty89]

Memo from Coach Mills and Jerry Abramowitz:

It has come to our attention that the actions of a select few have begun to cause a rift in the clubhouse. Due to the high level of talent on the roster, and the success we have had, we do not desire to break apart the roster, however, it appears that some things need to be ironed out in an open forum. We would like to hold a closed door meeting sometime within the next week to discuss everyone's concerns. Please let Coach Mills know when you are free to hold this meeting in the clubhouse. (Chat? if anyone is that bored, lol)

[Providence A's]

I think I haven't been apart of the shenanigans...have I?

[NYgiantsfan5689]

I don't know if I am really up to discussing anything with this child. He needs to get over himself and show that he's willing to be a team player before I go any further. He has one bad game and goes apeshit through the clubhouse.

If it is mediated and there is an apology to the team, I will be up for it.

[ljshorty89]

Mediation will be in the form of Coach Mills and Mr Abramowitz. I will request that a time is found for Mr Ryan, Mr Bonn, and other important team players, including (but not limited to) Milman, Henkel, Carson, Shipplett, and whoever else can make it to air out all concerns and hopefully get ready to get back on track and continue domination of the American League.

[NYgiantsfan5689]

An apology is required. Otherwise count me out

[cjkalt]

I've defected from the Communist Country of Massachusetts and i'm an FA looking to be signed... I can play 2 ways as either a DH/1B type slugger or a CL righty

Name: CJ Kaltenbach
Height: 6"2
Weight: 230 lbs
Throws: Right
Bats: Right
Who does your batting stance resemble? Carlos Lee

(Grade yourself 1-10)
Contact: 8
Power: 10
Speed: 2
Glove: 6
Arm: 9

For Pitchers only:
Who does your delivery resemble? Jon Papelbon
Pitches (in order of how good they are): Curveball, 2 seam fastball, sinker, circle-change, slider
Fastball MPH (before my bus crash): 89-92

[hot_corner_gurl]

I don't know what to say anymore...this is insane.

[ljshorty89]

Oy vey. CJ, Lets just say we're gonna need a DH in like....a few days. If you've been staying up to date, you'll know why.

And I swear, Dry, I won't even trade you. I'll sit your ass on the bullpen bench and relegate you to mop up work. Last time I checked a pitcher who pitches like shit, blames his teammates, and is a clubhouse cancer(on his best days) doesn't get a big money deal...

[ljshorty89]

Press Release

The Kansas City Royals have announced that they have signed amateur Free Agent CJ Kaltenbach. Kaltenbach is in a similar boat to the rest of the team, coming out of High School, however, he has not played since the end of his Senior Year. He was immediately promoted to the Major Leagues, replacing Ross Gload on the roster. Kaltenbach will probably start at DH, relegating team "veteran" Alex Gordon to a bench role...much to the relief of many players.