2016 Minnesota Twins "We're on a boat"

[zodious]

Message from the desk of the Owner of the 2016 Minnesota Twins,

Do you like Pitching? Do you like hitting? Well we're about to do both, for 162 games! 81 of which we'll be IN MINNESOTA! TRUE STORY!

We went out and bought 2 Starting pitchers! Oh yes, and one was hurt when he got here... but we're giving him so vodka and he should be good to go the second time he's supposed to pitch.

After last year where ALL OUTFIELDERS won gold gloves, we sent one to the minor leagues and benched another! WOO! Congrats to our fielders!

Al Borland, the pride of minnesota, (whom we got in a trade) is going to be starting for the first time in his carrer, good luck to him.

There is some good news, if we lose less than 90 games this year we were given permission from a few minnesota vikings players to use the boat that they had a few years ago! So there's incentive!

Finally, this is my first FULL season as owner of this "proud" franchise, we are looking for someone to be a "rival" so our fans will at least see one or two games, if anyone wants to be a rival of us let me know, we'll work something out.... Kansas City looking in your direction... cause we can BEAT you! :-)

We hope that our team can maintain its health or our team doctor, Mr. Kvorkian, is going to make this his last year. We gained Sponsorship for our team this year cause being the Twins, Double Mint made sence, and frankly, we need the cash.

Good luck to all, but mostly us.

PLAY BALL!

[TheRollingStoned]

Does Al Borland wear a flannel batting helmet?

[DiamondDave]

The basement floor might be the closest rival

[zodious]

Thats it, you've got to be kidding me!

Number 2 in my batting order... out 6 weeks

Brand new pitcher, just in from FA.... OUT FOR SEASON! REALLY???? REALLY???

[Slyder]

Thats it, you've got to be kidding me!

Number 2 in my batting order... out 6 weeks

Brand new pitcher, just in from FA.... OUT FOR SEASON! REALLY???? REALLY???

Morales is just D2D which means he can still play just needs to probably rest more often.

Plus could be worse could signed them to a 1 yr deal and...

Saturday 3/18/2016 :

Rick Ankiel was injured being hit by a pitch.
Diagnosis: Broken Wrist.
He is definitely out for the season!

[zodious]

Morales is just D2D which means he can still play just needs to probably rest more often.

Plus could be worse could signed them to a 1 yr deal and...

Saturday 3/18/2016 :

Rick Ankiel was injured being hit by a pitch.
Diagnosis: Broken Wrist.
He is definitely out for the season!

UGH!!!! Terrible!!!

[HafDawg2003]

It won't last forever.