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Thread: Greatest Simpsons Quotes

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    Future PGA Tour Golfer DirtyKash's Avatar
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    Padres Greatest Simpsons Quotes

    Marge- "Homer no more stalking!"

    Homer- "Alright, alright. I'm going now...(thinking)....to....(thinking)....stalk.... Lenny and Carl......d'oh!"

  2. #2
    Homer-"Save me Jebus"

    Duffman-"Duffman thrusting in the direction of the problem! "

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    Future PGA Tour Golfer DirtyKash's Avatar
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    in the episode where Homer gets kicked out of the All-you-can-eat seafood restaurant.

    "This is the greatest case of False Advertising I've seen since I sued the movie 'The Never Ending Story'." -- Lionel Hutz

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    Just a Gigolo DiamondDave's Avatar
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    Ralph -
    "Me fail English? That unpossible!"
    "The Leprechaun tells me to burn things."
    "My nose makes it's own bubble gum."
    "Oh boy! Sleep! That's when I'm a Viking!"
    "Even my boogers are spicy!"

    Skinner -
    -to Nibbles the School Hamster, while being sinched up in the gym dodge ball bag - "Nibbles, chew through my ball sack."

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    Just a Gigolo DiamondDave's Avatar
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    Homer -
    "Here's to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life's problems."
    "I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman. "
    "Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos."
    "You don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way. "
    "If The Flintstones has taught us anything, it's that pelicans can be used to mix cement."

  6. #6
    Bart: These uniforms suck!
    Marge: Bart! Where do you pick up words like that?
    Homer: Yeah Moe, that team sure did suck last night! They just plain sucked. I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!
    Marge: Homer, watch your mouth!
    Homer: I gotta go, my damn weiner kids are listening.

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    Guess Who's Back missionhockey21's Avatar
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    Homer: I can't live the buttoned down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles! Sure, I might offend a few of the blue-noses with my cocky stride and musky odor - oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called 'City Fathers' who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about what's to be done with this Homer Simpson?

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    Guess Who's Back missionhockey21's Avatar
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    Kent Brockman: A new mood is in the air in Springfield, as refreshing as a pre-moistened towelette. Folks are finally accepting their feelings and really communicating with no holding back and this reporter thinks it's about ****ing time. Of course, all these good vibes can be traced to one feisty little scamp that taught us if it feels good, do it.

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    Future PGA Tour Golfer DirtyKash's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Killah Sith
    Bart: These uniforms suck!
    Marge: Bart! Where do you pick up words like that?
    Homer: Yeah Moe, that team sure did suck last night! They just plain sucked. I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!
    Marge: Homer, watch your mouth!
    Homer: I gotta go, my damn weiner kids are listening.

  10. #10
    Hall of Famer CincyRedsFan30's Avatar
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    Kent Brockmen: (Reading the evening news) On a lighter note... a Kuikie Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night.
    ...............................................

    Monorail episode:

    Marge: I still think we should have spent the money on fixing Main Street.
    Homer: You should have written a song like that guy.
    .................................................

    Monorail, monorail, monorail, monorail

    I hear those things are awfully loud.... it glides as softly as a cloud.

    Is there a chance the track could bend?... Not on your life my Hindu friend.

    What about all us braindead slobs?... You'll be given cushy jobs.

    Were you sent here by the devil?... No good sir I'm on the level.

    The ring came off my pudding can.... take my pen knife my good man.

    I swear it's Springfield's only choice... throw up your arms and raise your voice.

    Monorail, monorail, monorail.

    But mainstreet's still all cracked and broken... sorry mom the mob has spoken....

    Monorail, monorail, monorail.

    Monorail!!!!

    Mono....

    Doh!!!
    The Simpson family gathers around, as Homer places Bart's passed test on the fridge.)

    Homer: We're proud of you, boy.

    Bart: Thanks, Dad. But part of this D-minus belongs to God.

  11. #11
    Homer: I'm impressed and I'm not impressed easily. WOW A BLUE CAR!!!!

  12. #12
    RIP Cyan 2000 - 2017 Providence A's's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Killah Sith
    Bart: These uniforms suck!
    Marge: Bart! Where do you pick up words like that?
    Homer: Yeah Moe, that team sure did suck last night! They just plain sucked. I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!
    Marge: Homer, watch your mouth!
    Homer: I gotta go, my damn weiner kids are listening.
    haha, I love that one and the part that follows:

    something like

    Bart and Lisa: We're not weiners!!!
    Homer: Then why are you dressed like that?
    Bart and Lisa: They made us!
    Homer: Oh, they made you! ooow, they made us wahhh...that's loser talk, you gotta start being winners like me and my team! (the Pin Pals bowling team)

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    Hall of Famer BuckFoston's Avatar
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    "It's just a little airborne it's still good, it's still good."-Homer
    Tennessee Titans. Duke athletics. New York Yankees. Carolina Hurricanes. Portland Trailblazers.

    Milwaukee Brewers MSL GM

  14. #14
    RIP Cyan 2000 - 2017 Providence A's's Avatar
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    The episode where homer worked for the guy trying to take over the world "You only move twice"

    Homer: Yes Mr. Scorpion
    Scorpio: Dont call me Mr. Scorpion, it's Mr. Scorpio, but don't call me that either. call me hank


    Scorpio: Homer, on your way out, if you want to kill somebody, it would help me a lot


    Bart: Look, lady, I'm s'posed to be in the 4th grade
    Teacher: Sounds to me like someone's got a case of the spose'das


    and at the end:

    Homer: Awww, the Denver Broncos! (he wanted the Cowboys, but Scorpio bought him the Broncos)
    Marge: What's wrong with the Denver Broncos? I think owning the Denver Broncos would be nice
    Homer: That's cause you know nothing about football Marge

  15. #15
    Past his age-27 peak Saber's Avatar
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    Lionel Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."

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