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Thread: Greatest Simpsons Quotes

  1. 09-01-2005 09:30 AM #61
    DirtyKash
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    Fat Tony: "It is wrong to steal a loaf of bread for a starving family?"
    Bart: "No."
    Fat Tony: "What if you steal a truckload of bread?"
    Bart: "No."
    Fat Tony: "What if your family doesn't like bread? What if they like ... cigarettes?"
    Bart: "I guess not."


    Same episode:
    Quimby (to Fat Tony): "Rat milk? You promised me dog or higher..."


    Hahaha... Quimby and Fat Tony are both
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  2. 09-01-2005 09:41 AM #62
    General
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    $3.06 this morning.
    "Players can't get better over time." -GiantsFanatic
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  3. 09-01-2005 11:05 AM #63
    Providence A's
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    Quote Originally Posted by Generalissimo
    $3.06 this morning.
    And from what Simpson's is that quote?
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  4. 09-01-2005 11:19 AM #64
    DirtyKash
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    Quote Originally Posted by Providence A's
    And from what Simpson's is that quote?
    +rep for you for that one, Prov.
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  5. 09-01-2005 11:22 AM #65
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    In Bart gets an Elephant

    Lisa: Dad, I think he's an ivory dealer. His boots are ivory, his hat is ivory, and I'm pretty sure that check is ivory.
    Homer: Lisa, a guy who's got lots of ivory is less likely to hurt Stampy than a guy whose ivory supplies are low.
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  6. 09-02-2005 01:19 PM #66
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    In the episode with the election between Sideshow Bob and Diamond Joe Quimby

    Kent Brockman: And the results are in. For Sideshow Bob, 100%, for Joe Quimby, 1%. And we remind you there is a 1% margin of error.
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  7. 09-03-2005 04:42 PM #67
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    Principal Skinner: [on the PA system] Attention, this is Principal Skinner, your principal, with a message from the Principal's Office. All students please proceed immediately to an assembly in the Butthead Memorial Auditorium.

    Principal Skinner: [to himself] Dammit, I wish we hadn't let the students name that one.
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  8. 09-03-2005 04:49 PM #68
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    When Lisa plays hockey

    Homer drives the car around to get the family at the entrance.

    Homer: OK, little buddy: hop in! [Bart steps forward] Ah bah! I mean my little girl buddy.

    Lisa: That's very nice, Dad, but it's wrong for you to reward violent
    competitive behavior. However, I will sit up front with you if it's a fatherly gesture of love.

    Homer: OK, hon.

    [after Lisa gets in and closes the door]

    Homer: Sucker! Competitive violence, that's why you're here! Ha! ha!
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  9. 09-03-2005 05:03 PM #69
    Providence A's
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    From King-Size Homer:

    Homer: Shame on all of you. Give me my dignity! I just came to here to see Honk If You're Horny in peace.
    Movie Manager: Sir, if you'd just quiet down, I'd be happy to treat you to a garbage bag full of popcorn.

    The recording homers hears when he tries to call the plant:

    "The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the key pad with your palm now"
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  10. 09-03-2005 05:16 PM #70
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    From Bart of Darkness:

    The recording Bart gets when he calls the cops:

    "Hello and welcome to the Springfield Police Department Resc-U-Fone. If you know the name of the felony being committed, press one. To choose from a list of felonies, press two. If you are being murdered or are calling from a rotary phone, please stay on the line."
    (Bart hits a bunch of random buttons)

    "You've selected regacide. If you know the name of the king or queen being murdered..."
    (he hangs up)
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  11. 09-05-2005 06:00 PM #71
    CincyRedsFan30
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    I don't know if this is already on this thread, but since I've watched the show a few times this weekend(I have DVDs fo the first five seasons now) I had to mention this one:

    Parole board officer to Sideshow Bob:

    "Doesn't the tattoo on your chest say 'Die Bart, Die'?"

    Bob: "No, that's German for: 'The Bart, The'.

    Lady of the Jury: "No man who speaks German could be evil".

    That comes from the Cape Feare episode, which is a very good one.
    The Simpson family gathers around, as Homer places Bart's passed test on the fridge.)

    Homer: We're proud of you, boy.

    Bart: Thanks, Dad. But part of this D-minus belongs to God.
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  12. 09-05-2005 06:05 PM #72
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    The new season starts next weekend.........
    GO PADRES AND ANGELS ALL THE WAY IN 2008
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  13. 09-07-2005 05:39 PM #73
    lester88
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    the one where Homer's in the Navy
    Sergeant: Okay I don't like you and you don't like me
    Homer: I like you
    Sergeant: okay, you like me, but I dont like you

    That was
    Nationals/Ravens Rule
    We Remember the Legacy of Luther Vandross
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  14. 09-10-2005 12:17 PM #74
    DirtyKash
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    Homer: Permit me to solve the mystery ... Your mother has a fear of flying!



    Bart: So much for the days when I could say, "At least my mother's normal."



    Marge: Well everybody's got a fear of something!



    Homer: Not everybody...



    Marge: SOCK PUPPETS!!!



    Homer: WHERE? WHERE?! AAAAH!!! (runs away)
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  15. 09-11-2005 07:03 PM #75
    missionhockey21
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    Simpsons lyrics...

    When the weight of the world has got you down
    And you want to end your life,
    Bills to pay, a dead-end job,
    And problems with the wife.
    But don't throw in the tow'l,
    'Cuz there's a place right down the block...
    Where you can drink your misery away...
    At Flaming Moe's.... (Let's all go to Flaming Moe's...)
    When liquor in a mug (Let's all go to Flaming Moe's...)
    Can warm you like a hug. (Flaming Moe's...)
    And happiness is just a Flaming Moe away...
    Happiness is just a Flaming Moe away...
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