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Thread: Greatest Simpsons Quotes

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    Guess Who's Back missionhockey21's Avatar
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    This thread =

    When Skinner gets fired he has the conversation with Apu and Bart. Here's the soundclip:
    http://www.simpsoncrazy.com/download...rassicpark.mp3
    Skinner: Now I finally have time to do what I've always wanted: write the great American novel. Mine is about a futuristic amusement park where dinosaurs are brought to life through advanced cloning techniques. I call it "Billy and the Cloneasaurus."
    Apu: Oh, you have got to be kidding sir. First you think of an idea that has already been done. Then you give it a title that nobody could possibly like. Didn't you think this through... (fade to later) ...it was on the bestseller list for eighteen months! Every magazine cover had... (later again) ...most popular movies of all time, sir! What were you thinking?!! (pause) I mean, thank you, come again.

  2. #17
    Kids, you tried yoru best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is never try.
    - Homer Simpson

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    Guess Who's Back missionhockey21's Avatar
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    "Look, Marge, you don't know what it's like. I'm the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And I'm not out of order. YOU'RE out of order! The whole freakin' system is out of order! You want the truth? You want the truth? You can't handle the truth! 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do! Forget it, Marge, it's Chinatown!" -Homer

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    Hall of Famer BuckFoston's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by missionhockey21
    This thread =

    When Skinner gets fired he has the conversation with Apu and Bart. Here's the soundclip:
    http://www.simpsoncrazy.com/download...rassicpark.mp3
    Skinner: Now I finally have time to do what I've always wanted: write the great American novel. Mine is about a futuristic amusement park where dinosaurs are brought to life through advanced cloning techniques. I call it "Billy and the Cloneasaurus."
    Apu: Oh, you have got to be kidding sir. First you think of an idea that has already been done. Then you give it a title that nobody could possibly like. Didn't you think this through... (fade to later) ...it was on the bestseller list for eighteen months! Every magazine cover had... (later again) ...most popular movies of all time, sir! What were you thinking?!! (pause) I mean, thank you, come again.
    HAHA, that is hillarious.
    Tennessee Titans. Duke athletics. New York Yankees. Carolina Hurricanes. Portland Trailblazers.

    Milwaukee Brewers MSL GM

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    Guess Who's Back missionhockey21's Avatar
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    Bart- "Dad, mom's in our way."
    Homer- "Then push her down son."

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    Guess Who's Back missionhockey21's Avatar
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    Burns: Smithers, do you realize if I had died, there would be no one
    to carry on my legacy. Due to my hectic schedule and
    lethargic sperm, I never fathered an heir. Now I have no one
    to leave my enormous fortune to. No one.
    Smithers: Ahem --
    Burns: You, Smithers? Oh no, my dear friend. I've planned a far
    greater reward for you. When I pass on, you shall be buried
    alive with me. [Opens a miniature coffin containing dead
    Burns and aghast Smithers]
    Smithers: Oh...goody.

  7. #22
    Dusty sucks redsfan28's Avatar
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    Moe: Hey Duffman, Let's see how you like a sticker on YOUR face! Here!

    Duffman: Duffman... can't breathe... OH no!
    rf28

  8. #23
    RIP Cyan 2000 - 2017 Providence A's's Avatar
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    in Bart's Comet

    Skinner: ...for your punishment you will help me map stars at 4 am...
    Bart: There's a 4 am now?

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    Guess Who's Back missionhockey21's Avatar
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    Burns: So, Smithers, what are you doing this weekend. Something gay, I expect?
    Smithers: What?!
    Burns: You know, light and fancy free; mothers, lock up your daughters - Smithers is on the town!
    Smithers: Oh! Of course.

  10. #25
    Future PGA Tour Golfer DirtyKash's Avatar
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    Comic Book Guy: "We're currently #299 of the 300 most intelligent cities .......... Take that East St. Louis!"


  11. #26
    Future PGA Tour Golfer DirtyKash's Avatar
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    Homer: "Is this car $15,000?"
    Car Salesman: "Eh ... it is now!"

  12. #27
    King of the World... HBK's Avatar
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    This is one of my favourites...

    Can you name the truck with four wheel drive,
    smells like a steak and seats thirty-five..

    Canyonero! Canyonero!

    Well, it goes real slow with the hammer down,
    It's the country-fried truck endorsed by a clown!

    Canyonero! (Yah!) Canyonero!
    [Krusty:] Hey Hey

    The Federal Highway comission has ruled the
    Canyonero unsafe for highway or city driving.

    Canyonero!

    12 yards long, 2 lanes wide,
    65 tons of American Pride!

    Canyonero! Canyonero!

    Top of the line in utility sports,
    Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts!

    Canyonero! Canyonero! (Yah!)

    She blinds everybody with her super high beams,
    She's a squirrel crushing, deer smacking, driving machine!

    Canyonero!-oh woah, Canyonero! (Yah!)

    Drive Canyonero!

    Woah Canyonero!

    Woah!



    My other favourite is when Homer and bart are in the airport and speaking to the religious groups, but i can't remember the exact wording i will try and find it.

  13. #28
    Future PGA Tour Golfer DirtyKash's Avatar
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    Dr. Nick is going to perform surgery on Homer.

    Dr. Nick: Hi, everybody!

    Crowd: Hi, Dr. Nick!

    Dr. Nick:
    If something should go wrong, let's not get the law involved! One hand washes the other. Oh, that reminds me! (washes his hands and puts on operating gloves)
    These gloves came free with my toilet brush!

  14. #29
    Future PGA Tour Golfer DirtyKash's Avatar
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    The kids are at the playground during recess. Bart and Ralph Wiggum are captains.


    Ralph: I pick... Ken Griffey Jr.
    Bart: Aww geez. Okay, I'll take... Milhouse.
    (Wade Boggs walks by.)

    Ralph: Hey Mr. Boggs! Will you be on my team?
    Boggs: You got yourself a player.
    Bart: Damn! Alright, I'll take... Lewis.

    (Jose Canseco walks by.)
    Ralph: I'll take... Jose Canseco!

    Bart: D'oh!

  15. #30
    Future PGA Tour Golfer DirtyKash's Avatar
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    Hahaha... Did anyone watch the two new episodes last night? Some hilarious lines in there.

    Marge: "Homer, we need more money. Maybe you can ask Mr. Burns for a raise."
    Homer: "Even better, I'll ask him for my job back."

    Heh... And in the episode with Ray Magini, Homer pictures what would happen if he were to drink and drive, and he came to the conclusion that he'd be President. Ha! Ha! Ha!

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