You know, baseball is a pretty interesting game. There's a lot of terminology, rules, and history you have to be familiar with to fully appreciate "America's Favorite Pastime". But with baseball's terminology, a brave batch of college students (most likely) derived The Guide to the Bases of Sex. But this terminology is loosely used and taken advantage of amongst friends, drunks, and the hopeless. With this post, I hope to cement the terminology of The Bases of Sex for the wonderful readers of Epic Carnival so that we can become a better, sexual community. Righteous. Oh, and by the way, ladies... this isn't just for guys. You too are playing this wonderful game as well.

Let's start with the basics (these should be self explanatory):

On Deck - You've got a date set up or at least plan for a date.

Strike-Out - Your attempt to get on base, was unsuccessful. If you hadn't known that until now, I'm going to *****-slap you via broadband.

Walk - Kissing. Weak-sauce.

Bunt - Masturbation. Pretty much the worst way to get on base.

Single - Kissing with some tongue / Making out

Double - Maybe a little grab ass, some breast fondling, take a few articles of clothes off, or some mild grabbing and touching

Triple - Most of the clothes come off and there's some sort of contact with the... uhh... "goods".

Inside the Park Home Run - Any sort of oral sex

Home Run - Yay! Intercourse! Woo-hoo! Round the bases kid!

Ground-rule Double - You would've had sex had some sort of protection been involved (condom, spermicide)

Error - Your condom breaks during intercourse.

Banned for Life for Gambling or "Pulling a Pete Rose" - Sex without a condom

Hall of Fame - Marriage. You're most likely never going to pick up the ball and bat again, atleast not outside of your home field, so you're retired.

Now that you've got the basics, let's get into more complicated terms:

Play Ball - The girl/guy shows up

Field - The whole body

Equipment - Particular body parts

Ballpark - Location

Line-up - Where you and your date are going, what's on the schedule, your approach

Pre-Game Warm Up - Showering, cologne, deodorant, getting your "smell good" on

Mowing the Grass - Shaving

Lining the Field - Getting your hair done, (make up for girls)

Uniforms - Your clothes

Balk - Premature ejaculation

RBI - How many times she/he orgasmed during intercourse

Pine Tar - KY Jelly

Relief Pitcher - Vibrator

Rain Delay - Parents/Roommates unexpectedly return home.

Extra Innings - Intercourse twice

Box Seats - Waterbed

Innings - The amount of time/hours that are passing on your date or intercourse

Seventh Inning Stretch - Trying out unusual positions

Rally - Trying to pick up the pace or striving for extra bases

Dead Ball - Blue Balls/Passion Cramps

Rookie - Virgin on the field!

Minor Leagues - Under 18 (c'mon man, you're a Major Leaguer by now!)

Runners on the Corners - Menage a trois

Loaded Bases - Orgy

Grand Slam - Intercourse three times in a span of six hours

Foul Tip - Venereal Disease

Three up and Three down - Impotency

Batting Glove - Sexual Aide
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(I'm not sure if this is a bad article to post so if you want to delete it then go ahead)