Lame Jokes Thread

[Lynch]

Are african american or jewish jokes allowed? Don't want to offend anyone..

If it's a joke, it's a joke. Title of the thread is "Lame Jokes Thread". So, I'm under the impression that unless a joke is flat out obviously and overly racists, in a thread like this, it should be allowed.

All jokes, no matter wtf they are, can offend someone at some point if their skin is thin enough. While I may laugh at a sex joke, someone else may find it in poor taste. That goes with ethnic jokes, religious jokes and the like. Not everyone is going to find everything to be funny. So, in the context of a lame joke thread, I'd say just about anything goes aside from blatently/obviously racist.


Everyone ok with that

[go_bucs2000]

TEACHER: Why are you late?
STUDENT: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
STUDENT: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

[go_bucs2000]

*Steelers joke from a couple years ago by Myron Cope*

Q:How do you keep a Bengal out of your backyard?
A:put a goal post in it

[Hmark6]

Are african american or jewish jokes allowed? Don't want to offend anyone..

Q: What do you call a black guy that flies planes?

A: A pilot you f*ckin' racist...

[Lynch]

A man boards an airplane, and takes his seat. As he settles in, he glances
up and sees a beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realizes she
is heading straight towards his seat. A wave of nervous anticipation washes
over him.

Lo and behold, she takes the seat right beside him. Anxious to strike up
a conversation, he blurts out, “So, where are you flying to today?”

She turns and smiles, and says, “To the annual Nymphomaniac Convention
in Chicago.”
He swallows hard, instantly crazed with excitement. Here’s the most gorgeous
woman he has ever seen, sitting right next to him, and she’s going to a
meeting of nymphomaniacs. Struggling to maintain his outward cool, he
calmly asks, “And what’s your role at this convention?”

She flips her hair back, turns to him, looks onto his eyes, and says, “I will
be speaking, debunking some of the popular myths about sexuality.”

“Really”, he says, swallowing hard. “And what myths are those?”

She explains: “Well, one popular myth is that African American men are
the most well-endowed, when, in fact, it is the Native American Indian who
is most likely to possess this trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen
are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who romance
women best, on average.”

“Very interesting,” the man responds.

Suddenly, the woman becomes very embarrassed, and blushes. “I’m sorry,”
she says, “I feel so awkward discussing this with you, and I don’t even know
your name.”

The man extends his hand and replies, “Tonto. Tonto Goldstein.”

[DirtyKash]

A man is sitting at a diner when another guy takes the stool next to him. He notices that the guy has a long duffel bag and asks what's inside.

"It's my sniper rifle," he says. "I'm a professional hit man."

"No way!" says the first guy. "Mind if I take a look through the scope? I think I can see my house from here." The hitman nods and hands over his gun.

"This is amazing. I can see right into the window of my house," says the first guy. "There's my wife in the bedroom. And she's naked. Wait...there's my neighbor! Bastard! How much do you charge for a hit?"

"Flat price. One thousand dollars per shot."

"Well, here's a check for two thousand. I want you to shoot both of them: my wife in the head and my neighbor in his dick. That should teach them."

The sniper takes the rifle, aims, then stands still for a few moments.

"You gonna shoot them or what?"

"Give me a minute," says the hitman. "I think I can save you a grand."

[PacMan]

i dont understand the last two jokes..

[General]

That's because you're a douchebag!

[PacMan]

i dont understand the last joke..

[Providence A's]

she was giving him head

[DirtyKash]

Q: What do you call a masturbating cow?
A: Beef Stroganoff

[bipster]

"Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud."
"Yes sir, it's fresh ground."

[DirtyKash]

Man: Do you want to dance with me?
Woman: No.
Man: Sorry, I think you misheard me...I said, you look fat in those pants.

[DirtyKash]

A Priest and a Rabbi are walking down the street past an elementary school.

The Priest says: "Want to go f*ck one of those 3rd graders?"

The Rabbi says: "Out of what?"

[olypride09]

Q: What time is it to go to the dentist
A:Tooth-Hurty