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SURPRISE, Ariz. – The real measure of team chemistry isn't necessarily how much guys pat each other on the back. It's how devious they can be to one another.

The Rangers are setting franchise records in the latter.

A prank war, unlike anything seen at Rangers camp since the team moved to Arizona, has broken out in full force. Ever since Hank Blalock woke up a week ago to find his rental home covered in toilet paper and his car encased in saran wrap, it's become an all-out slapstick assault.

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Beneath all the underlying comedy, though, there seems to be a message. A team that can laugh at itself and laugh together can overcome a lot of adversity.

"I think it's a good thing," said catcher Gerald Laird, the victim of three pranks in a week. "We've got some new guys in here and we've got a loose attitude. It makes the team looser, and it makes guys laugh. But make no mistake: I will be the one who has the last laugh."

First, a disclaimer: No Ranger interviewed would admit to being behind any pranks. But, when asked if they would cop to any pranks they may have already pulled, the answer was "no," also. So everybody is a suspect. And everybody is a potential victim.

"I am concerned," Frank Catalanotto said Wednesday afternoon. "I've heard a rumor that I will be next. I've been taking precautions. I've been waking up periodically at night and checking outside the windows. I've been parking my car in the garage. I've set a couple of traps."

Paranoid much, Frank?

"Absolutely not," he said. "I just want to be prepared. With all that's gone on and the info I've received, I just don't want to get caught with my pants down."

Or with his feet in jelly. Or his head in a liniment-lined helmet. Both have happened to Laird.

He went to put on his catching helmet earlier this week and felt something slimy. Closer examination revealed it had been generously lathered with warming liniment. He managed to dodge that prank, but he wasn't so lucky Tuesday morning when he undressed and slipped his feet into his shower shoes. The insoles had been coated with jelly.


This spring's activities have been quite sophomoric. Perhaps the first shot, the one pulled on Blalock, had the most intricate planning. Not only were the house and car covered, but there was a box with a birthday cake left outside the front door.

The inscription on the icing read: "Happy Birthday, Tiffany." The message: Was it teammates or just neighborhood kids with the wrong address?

What's happened in the last week has left no doubt about the perps. They are teammates.

Michael Young had his house egged, yes, egged by teammates. Blalock once went to sprinkle on some talcum powder and instead covered himself in protein powder. Brandon McCarthy also got the saran wrap treatment while the team was working out.

The difference is how widespread the jokes have become. It may be a sign of a team whose core players are relaxed and able to laugh at themselves. Something of this magnitude never broke out during the Alex Rodriguez or Mark Teixeira years.

"I think everyone in here has had a good time with it," said Catalanotto, who with 10 years of service time is one of the most experienced players on the roster. "Anything that gets guys laughing and talking in the clubhouse is a positive thing."

Said McCarthy: "It seems like you can pull something on just about anyone here, and they will take it the right way."

Young, like everybody else who has been pranked, would not confirm if he had retaliated.

"Trying to pin something on me is like trying to pin a silk hat on a pig," he said. "It just doesn't work."

He laughed maniacally. Ian Kinsler, yet to be victimized, started laughing, too.

It's a different sound than has been heard in the Rangers' clubhouse in recent springs. Oh, the Rangers are still pulling for one another. It's just that these days when they slap each other on the back, it's to affix a "Kick Me" sign.
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