Cleveland Plain Tribune

[bipster]

Cleveland, OH (AP)
by Homer Ballfour

As I sat on the banks of Lake Eerie today, I found myself wondering what the tides of the rest of the baseball season would bring. Who were going to be the young up and comers, and were the old stalwart all-stars still going to flash their brilliance. Yes, my mind was even thinking of the possible rags to riches storyline of a team coming from nowhere to steal a pennant. The big name free agents that had signed, were they going to boom or bust. Just what will the skyline of the Strike 3 League look like. In fact, I even wondered what the biggest stories of the second half would be. Well, ladies and gentlemen, it didn't take long for me to find out just what that "big story" would be. Out of nowhere, I received a phone call with some information that even flabbergasted myself. The information that followed those loud, annoying song rings of my phone was that an old general manager was coming back to "rescue" a team that was just a year removed from a World Series victory. In fact, it was a team that won the Series without a GM. Alas, the story doesn't stop there. This is a GM that was kicked out of the league, for undetermined reasons, for half a season. Immediately I dialed that old number that seemed to have dust and cobwebs all over it. I had to talk directly to Bipster to find out just what had happened and how it came about that he would end up running the same team that he was forced to leave. The following excerpts are from the phone conversation:

Homer: *Dials 555-1-GR8t-GM*, just like old times it rang.
Bipster: *Burps into the phone* just as he answers "Hello"

Homer: "Bipster, this is Homer.....ya know Homer Ballfour, the beat writer of the Indians.
Bipster: "How did you get my number and why are you calling me!!"

Homer: "Well Mr Bipster, as I said before, I am the beat writer of the Indians and you did used to be the GM of Cleveland. We used to talk all the time, so, when I heard the news I had to see if the number still worked"
Bipster: "News, what news?.....is my wife divorcing me again?

Homer: "No Bipster, the news of you regaining the reigns of the Indians Tee-Pee......you know, taking over as the GM all over again."
Bipster: "Right, right, right....shewee, for a minute there I thought you were talking about some real news or something. Do you have any questions for me?"

Homer: "As a matter of fact, I do. As long as you don't mind being candid, can you tell me why you had to leave the league?"
Bipster: "Well Homer, I guess it appears that I got caught selling steroids and other illegal odds and ends to my team. Apparently the league didn't think to fondly of that, so I had to take a leave of absence. Honestly Homer, I was making a good living selling those items on the side and it really didn't bother me to leave at the time....I mean it would just free up more time for me to sell, sell, sell. Actually, I think I would have gotten away with it had I not made that regrettable mistake. I was out all night long drinking, drinking, drinking, and oh yea drinking. The sun came up that next morning and I was still drinking. I knew I had to go to work that day, but somewhere along the line I got my jobs confused. Allegedly, I was on a conference call with the commissioner and the rest of the GM's and I was spouting off about how things were going for me......anyway, to make a long story short. I tried to get everyone in my stable. I thought it would be fun to have a "Juiced" League. The league asked me to step aside.

Homer: "That is a terrible story, it must make you happy to know that you can have a second chance though, huh?"
Bipster: "Yea, I would just like to take this oppurtunity to say to the kids of Akron and all the other suburbs of Cleveland...like Cincinnati that drugs are bad. Unless of course you like the fact that they can make you millions of dollars."

Homer: "Ummm, don't you mean the kids of America? Nevermind that, is there anything else that you have been up to in your off time?"
Bipster: "Exactly, I was studying holistic medicine. I was in the same class as that Ricky Williams character, he really knows his stuff. I copied his papers verbatum.....verbatum, that is a big word for me. I learnt that from Ricky. He also took me to a Lenny Kravitz concert, that was cool. Gotta go Homer, I am celebrating. I have to throw one of my all-night rages to start the year off right."

And so it begins, the old "new" era of the Indians with Bipster as the Chief.

[Slyder]

Cleveland, OH (AP)
by Homer Ballfour
Homer: "As a matter of fact, I do. As long as you don't mind being candid, can you tell me why you had to leave the league?"
Bipster: "Well Homer, I guess it appears that I got caught selling steroids and other illegal odds and ends to my team.
And so it begins, the old "new" era of the Indians with Bipster as the Chief.

So THATS how Rocco became Barry Bonds in this league

[trevortime101]

bipsters BACK WOOWWZZZA

[bipster]

Treva!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[CrazyEights]

In fact, it was a team that won the Series without a GM.

I thought PopFly was active when the Indians won the World Series.