Boston Red Sux Jokes

[A'sDiehard]

Q: Why is the monster green?
A: Envy from Yankee wins.

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Q: What's the free give-away on Ted Williams Day at Fenway?
A: Ice Pops

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A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Boston Red Sox fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Red Sox fans, too.

Not really knowing what a Red Sox fan was, but wanting to be like their teacher, hands explode into the air. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Lucy has not gone along with the crowd.

The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not a Red Sox fan."

"Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?"

"Why I'm proud to be a Yankees fan.", boasts the little girl.

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Lucy why she is a Yankees fan.

"Well, My Dad and Mom are Yankees fans, and I'm a Yankees fan, too!"

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron, What would you be then?"

A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Lucy, "I'd be a Red Sox fan."

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Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler.

Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his stick, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck.

A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Rangers Fan Saves Friend from Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook.

"But I'm not a Rangers fan," the little hero replied.

"Sorry, since we are in New York, I just assumed you were," said the reporter. "Yankees Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack" he continued writing in his notebook.

"I'm not a Yankees fan either," the boy said.

"I assumed everyone in New York was either for the Rangers or Yankees. What team do you root for?" the reporter asked.

"I'm a Red Sox fan," the child replied.

The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Bastard from Boston kills Beloved Family Pet."

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Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks, "What is your IQ?"


The man answers, "241."


"That is wonderful!" says Albert. "We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the universe. We will have much to discuss!"


Next, Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks, "What is your IQ?"


The lady answers, "144."


"That is great!", says Albert, "We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!".


Albert then goes to another person and asks, "What is your IQ?"


The person answers, "51."


Albert ponders this for a moment, and then smiles and says,"GO RED SO

[griffeyfan3]

Now that is some funny stuff.

[CougarBaseball]

lol, those are good.. havent heard a good baseball joke in awhile

[Fishercat]

Infinitely better than the last topic like it. I think it was a while ago too. The Ted Williams one got a chuckle out of me, and I hadn't heard the Green Monster one.

The other ones? I want to change a few words. The joke will still make sense.

[General]

Grady Little didn't cut his lawn all summer. He couldn't get the mower to work. Seems he didn't know how to pull the starter.


Q. What do Grady Little and Don Zimmer have in common?
A. Neither one can take out Pedro!

[redsrbetter]

Q: Why did Fenway Park build seats over the Green Monster?
A: So Bucky Dent could find his home run balls.

[redsrbetter]

My favorite one:

Four baseball fans - a Cubs fan, a Cardinals fan, a Red Sox fan, and a Yankees fan - are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves his team more.

The Cubs fan insists he is the most loyal. "This is for the Cubs!" he yells, and jumps off the side of the mountain.

Not to be outdone, the Cardinals fan shouts, "This is for the Cardinals!" and throws himself off the mountain.

The Red Sox fan is next to profess his love for his team. He yells, "This is for everyone!" and pushes the Yankees fan off.

[Fishercat]

Yay for improved jokes. Good job guys.

[yhova]

Keep 'em comin'

[A'sDiehard]

There were two men, one was a Red Sox fan and the other was a Yankees fan.

These men were both madly in love with the same woman. So the woman challenged that whichever man does a better job at having sex with her would be her boyfriend.

Both men accepted the challenge.

That night, the woman had sex with the Red Sox fan and then the other night had sex with the Yankees fan. The next day the woman chose the Yankees fan to be her boyfriend.

Shocked and outraged, the Red Sox fan asked why she didn't choose him.

She replied by saying, "You, like your team not only come up short but always finish early!"

[realmofotalk]

Meh, here's one I came up with:

Q: What's the difference between transvesites and Bill Buckner?

A: People from Massachusetts cringe when Buckner spreads his legs.

[A'sDiehard]

The Scotsman At The Baseball Game


A recent Scottish immigrant to the U.S. attended his first baseball game. After a base hit, he heard the fans roaring, "Run...run!"

The next batter connected heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stood up and roared with the crowd in his thick accent, "R-r-r-un yah bahstard. R-r-run!"

A third batter slammed a hit and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screamed, "R-r-r-un ya bahstard, r-r-run will ya."

The next batter's count went to three and two. As the next pitch went outside the plate, he held his swing. The umpire called a walk and the Scotsman stood up yelling, "R-r-r-un ya bahstard, r-r-run!"

All the surrounding fans giggled quietly and he sat down, confused. A friendly fan, sensing his embarrassment, whispered, "He didn't have to run, he's got four balls."

After this explanation the Scotsman stood up in disbelief and screamed, "Walk PR-R-ROUD, man! Walk Proud!"