Steinbrenner is the devil!

[HollywoodLeo]

Here's the angry post Mr. George Steinbrenner knew he was bound to receive. For the sake of review, Mr. Steinbrenner acts as if he were King of the World. This hauteur is astonishing, staggering, and mind-boggling. If his refrains get any more contumelious, I expect they'll grow legs and attack me in my sleep. As a parenthetical note, Mr. Steinbrenner has warned us that any day now, vapid leeches will pander to our worst fears. If you think about it, you'll realize that Mr. Steinbrenner's warning is a self-fulfilling prophecy in the sense that all Mr. Steinbrenner really wants is to hang onto the perks he's getting from the system. That's all he really cares about. If I hear his apostles say, "Mr. Steinbrenner's squibs are Right with a capital R" one more time, I'm unequivocally going to throw up. Is it just me, or do other people also think that most acts of heathenism are committed not by ophidian adversarial-types but by Mr. Steinbrenner's flunkies in an attempt to pooh-pooh the concerns of others? I ask, because just the other day, some of Mr. Steinbrenner's meretricious, self-pitying followers forced a prospectus into my hands as I walked past. The prospectus described Mr. Steinbrenner's blueprint for a world in which blinkered polemics are free to use both overt and covert deceptions to promulgate partisan prejudice against others. As I dropped the prospectus onto an overflowing wastebasket, I reflected upon the way that Mr. Steinbrenner may unwittingly shower sniffish, biased con artists with undeserved encomia. I say "unwittingly" because he is apparently unaware that he operates under the influence of a particular ideology: a set of beliefs based on the root metaphor of the transmission of forces. Until you understand this root metaphor you won't be able to grasp why if we don't exemplify the principles of honor, duty, loyalty, and courage right now, then Mr. Steinbrenner's methods of interpretation will soon start to metastasize until they glorify the things that everyone else execrates.

Believe me, I certainly don't want to give Mr. Steinbrenner a chance to court a crapulous minority of disdainful pinheads. Ask yourself: Has he ever considered what would happen if a small fraction of his time spent trying to spew forth ignorance and prejudice was instead spent on something productive? I bet you'll answer the same way that I did, because we both know that while Mr. Steinbrenner insists that it's perfectly safe to drink and drive, reality dictates otherwise. Actually, if you want a real dose of reality, look at how once people obtain the critical skills that enable them to think and reflect and speculate independently, they'll realize that Mr. Steinbrenner's desire to scrap the notion of national sovereignty is the chief sign that he's an unrealistic hippie. (The second sign is that Mr. Steinbrenner feels obliged to don the mantel of larrikinism and bar people from partaking in activities that cannot be monitored and controlled.) What Mr. Steinbrenner is incapable of seeing is that his smarmy inveracities leave the current power structure untouched while simultaneously killing countless children through starvation and disease. Are these children Mr. Steinbrenner's enemies? The answer is quite simple. I already listed several possibilities, but because Mr. Steinbrenner lacks the ability to remember beyond the last two seconds of his life, I will restate what I said before, for his sake: He keeps saying that anyone who disagrees with him is ultimately irresponsible. For some reason, Mr. Steinbrenner's goombahs actually believe this nonsense. This is not to say that he refuses to do anything for himself. It is merely to point out that if, five years ago, I had described a person like Mr. Steinbrenner to you and told you that in five years, he'd brand me as unimaginative, you'd have thought me obtuse. You'd have laughed at me and told me it couldn't happen. So it is useful now to note that, first, it has happened and, second, to try to understand how it happened and how it's annoying for him to toy with our opinions. Or perhaps I should say, it's stupid. Mr. George Steinbrenner, who has posed as Savior of the World, is nothing else but the world's seducer, its destroyer, its incendiary, and its executioner. And that's why I say to you: Have courage. Be honest. And act as a positive role model for younger people. That's the patriotic thing to do, and that's the right thing to do.

[General]

Breaking news:


The Titanic sank!


Dude, this is old news. Its been done.

[HollywoodLeo]

I wanted to respond to The General earlier, but I was so busy, I simply did not have the time. Nevertheless, what I need to say is so important, I knew I simply had to allocate a few minutes to write a brief letter on the subject. To start, The General is a paragon of evil at its most wicked. Think about it, and I'm sure you'll agree with me. He exhibits an air of superiority. You realize, of course, that that's really just a defense mechanism to cover up his obvious inferiority. The General's reason is not true reason. It does not seek the truth, but only muddleheaded answers, hypersensitive resolutions to conflicts. Please forgive the following sermon, but it can't be avoided in this discussion: The General's a pretty good liar most of the time. However, he tells so many lies, he's bound to trip himself up someday.

No matter what else we do, our first move must be to educate everyone about how The General's fans cast the world into nuclear holocaust simply because they think it's fun. That's the first step: education. Education alone is not enough, of course. We must also get us out of the hammerlock that The General is holding us in. I assume that he is unaware of his obligation not to replace law and order with anarchy and despotism, as this unawareness would be consistent with his prior displays of ignorance. Personally, I don't expect him to give up his crusade to muzzle his critics. But we'll see. Comments on the above are welcome, but please think them out first.

[DirtyKash]

We call him "Mr. S" here.

[Dry1313]

All Hail General!

[Saber]

Good thing I'm an Angel fan and don't give a shit.

[Providence A's]

Mr.S predicts World Series Championship

I hope they fall flat on their faces

[DirtyKash]

Someone needs to tell him to shut up.

[DirtyKash]

Oops ... I mean, "shut it up."

[Providence A's]

"shut it up" is the new

[Hmark6]

Mr.S predicts World Series Championship

I hope they fall flat on their faces

He's just promoting. He's the Vince McMahon of MLB.

[Pronk48]

I ain't reading alll that shit.

[HollywoodLeo]

He's just promoting. He's the Vince McMahon of MLB.

Now that you've got me on the subject of Vincent Kennedy McMahon...

What would I do without Mr. Vincent K McMahon to provide me with a non-stop source of worthless codices to complain about? The rest of this letter is focused exclusively on Mr. McMahon, not because I harbor any ill-will towards him but because he has been trying hard to protect what has become a lucrative racket for him. Unfortunately, that lucrative racket has a hard-to-overlook consequence: it will seek temporary tactical alliances with morally questionable goof-offs in order to palm off our present situation as the compelling ground for worldwide misoneism eventually. His propaganda machine once said that he would never identify political and religious groups that are his political enemies and re-label them as "postmodernist Machiavellians" in order to justify operations against them. So much for credibility! To be blunt, he deeply believes that his refrains won't be used for political retribution. Meanwhile, back on Earth, the truth is very simple: Mr. McMahon's a pretty good liar most of the time. However, he tells so many lies, he's bound to trip himself up someday. If I didn't sincerely believe that Mr. McMahon's words have a crippling effect on science and technology, then I wouldn't be writing this letter. The basal lie that underlies all of Mr. McMahon's intemperate, intellectually challenged editorials is that his opinions represent the opinions of the majority -- or even a plurality. Translation: The sun rises just for Mr. McMahon. I doubt you need any help from me to identify the supreme idiocy of those views, but you should nevertheless be aware that I challenge Mr. McMahon to point out any text in this letter that proposes that he is the most recent incarnation of the Buddha. It isn't there. There's neither a hint nor a suggestion of such a thing.

Believe me, I certainly don't want to give Mr. McMahon a chance to propitiate what I call despicable, primitive apostates for later eventualities. I alluded to this earlier, but only the impartial and unimpassioned mind will even consider that the best thing about him is the way that he encourages us to give direction to a universal human development of culture, ethics, and morality. No, wait; Mr. McMahon doesn't encourage that. On the contrary, he discourages us from admitting that if you're not part of the solution, then you're part of the problem. Mr. McMahon has stated that some people deserve to feel safe while others do not. That's just pure revanchism. Well, in Mr. McMahon's case, it might be pure ignorance, seeing that if Mr. McMahon doesn't realize that it's generally considered bad style to present a false image to the world by hiding unpleasant but vitally important realities about his credos, then he should read one of the many self-help books on the subject. I recommend he buy one with big print and lots of pictures. Maybe then, Mr. McMahon will grasp the concept that he sees no reason why he shouldn't call for ritualistic invocations of needlessly formal rules. It is only through an enlightened, outraged citizenry that such moral turpitude, corruption, and degradation of the law can be brought to a halt. So, let me enlighten and outrage you by stating that the spectrum of views between tribalism and Stalinism is not a line but a circle at which polyloquent freeloaders and poxy, interdenominationalism-oriented louts meet. To properly place Mr. McMahon somewhere in that spectrum, one needs to realize that in a rather infamous speech, Mr. McMahon exclaimed that a totalitarian dictatorship is the best form of government we could possibly have. (I edited out the rest of what he said because, well, it didn't really say anything.) Mr. Vincent K McMahon is unable to support his assertions with documentation of any sort. And that's all I have to say.