Dont Worry Yanke$$ Fans, Just When You Got Done With the A's....

[Porter]

Here comes the great and unparalleled Seattle Mariners, Loses of currently six straight games. Im sure the Yankee offense can hit the hell out of Gil Meche, AND Aaron Sele i would hope. In the surplus of catchers that the Oakland C's (i mean A's) have we DONT HAVE any. We have two catchers, both of them have OPS you would mistake for batting average's in the pre-modern days (.394, .388). We have 2 shortstops, one just got transfered to the 60-Day DL because his shoulder is broken. Pokey Reese makes us wonder why did we sign him in the 1st place. Heres why, we get to ship out the Whiney Sux Reject Wilson "NO STICK" Valdez. What has this nut done, hes great for groundball outs to short or getting groundball outs at short. Were so desperate for SS and Cs, that we are even calling out Morse from AAA, thing is hes so defensively inept, I dont think he knows the meaning of glove, throw OR out. We just called up the great Pads Catcher Wiki Gonzalez. Thats right WIKI F****N GONZALEZ. We now have a sure fire offense catcher that will get us a .500 OPS. We would call up Ryan Christenson but one thing, he went down the other day in Tacoma cause he fouled off a pitch and his hand ended up hurting. So come on down and get 78 runs in the 1st inning of this series while having the New Yanks Initated by the M's Bats. That would be you Randy Johnson and Carl Pavano, or this Meng Wang guy. Good luck maybe you might win two out of three. You just got to love these guys!!! the commericals told us too.

[Steak]

Man this Mariners team is brutal in hitting. Grover was talking about how sometimes you feel like you can't hit, pitch, or score another run.

[RLA68]

Again, I do not expect to run through them either. We may have gotten 2 of 3 from the A's(if it holds up today) but are still playing like "pretenders' instead of contenders.

[Porter]

We just got Pwned by Jeremi Gonzalez........