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Thread: Alex Rodriguez Placed On Emotionally Disabled List

  1. #1

    Yankees Alex Rodriguez Placed On Emotionally Disabled List

    http://www.theonion.com/content/node/52502/print/

    NEW YORK—After suffering through much of the year with an aching heart, shattered self-image, and severely hurt feelings, Alex Rodriguez was placed on the 15-day emotionally disabled list, though the Yankee slugger did not rule out the possibility that the emotional wounds he has had to endure this season "may never truly heal."
    "There is an intense, burning pain deep within me, accompanied by a sinking feeling of complete and total emptiness inside," said Rodriguez outside his locker Monday night, moments before throwing his tear-stained jersey to the ground and burying his head in his hands. "It's just too much. I wish it would all just go away."
    "It hurts more than anyone will ever know," Rodriguez added.
    "Players can't get better over time." -GiantsFanatic

  2. #2
    Hall of Famer DravenX's Avatar
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    Loser. Just quit.
    "For someone who was never meant for this world, I must confess I'm suddenly having a hard time leaving it. Of course, they say every atom in our bodies was once part of a star. Maybe I'm not leaving... maybe I'm going home."

  3. #3
    Poor ARod. Just go buy something.

  4. #4
    HAHAHAHAHA ! That is amusing.
    What is the worst source of diarrhea ?
    A)A bowl of chili, or
    B)Curt Schilling's mouth

  5. #5
    #1 Cena Hater
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    *Reps general though he doesn't need it*

    Beauty. Nice find.


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  6. #6
    The Clubhouse Co-Mod HuskerFan2002's Avatar
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    Lmfao!

  7. #7
    59 W, 678 2/3 IP, GOAT Dry1313's Avatar
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    Hahaha.

  8. #8
    Hall of Famer 777rak's Avatar
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    Wow that is funny, good find General

  9. #9
    Link

    NEW YORK—Yankee third-baseman Alex Rodriguez, whose tenure in pinstripes has been plagued by his inability to live up to expectations set by the media, fans, and team owner George Steinbrenner, broke down yesterday after an 0-for-5 performance and tearfully announced that he hates being a New York Yankee. "It just really sucks here," said Rodriguez, who noted that the pressure he faces every day living in the city of New York and playing for the Yankees has become "****ing outrageous." "I hate all of it—the dress code, the strict curfew, not having my name on my uniform, the stadium, the tradition, my teammates, playing third base—all of it. For the love of Christ, get me the **** out of this shithole." Rodriguez later added that the only thing he likes about being a New York Yankee is Don Mattingly.
    "Players can't get better over time." -GiantsFanatic

  10. #10
    Brewers/Steelers Fan!!!
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    Wow!!! and YIKES!!!!! Mental torment, I thought 25 Million was the cure for everything... Or is he just playing the public while he collects his $$$$$$$$$ and sits and does nothing.... Hmmmmmm, is this is revenge? Is he home laughing at all of us and collecting $$$$$$.....


    But again, I learned something today, I didnt even know there was an emotionally disabled list.... I could understand if there was a death in your family or something tragic like that, but playing baseball.... I guess that is something we all need to experience for ourselves....

    Well, Yankee fans, I must admit that you were and still are on to something....

  11. #11
    Furcals Designated Driver realmofotalk's Avatar
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    Uh, the news is made up.

  12. #12
    Yeah, its a cynical humor news site.
    "Players can't get better over time." -GiantsFanatic

  13. #13
    Brewers/Steelers Fan!!!
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    oh.......... man I feel dumb... Just sounded to good to me with the exception of the swearing part.... But even though the joke is on me, still funny as funny can be!!!!!


    me feeling like a idiot, AGAIN

    Me now laughing at the thread and myself too.....

    Man, sometimes my age really shows!!!!

  14. #14
    At least you're man enough to admit it.
    "Players can't get better over time." -GiantsFanatic

  15. #15
    Brewers/Steelers Fan!!!
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    does that mean I get to owe you one General????? Or are we going to have fun at my expense tonight... Either way, I will have fun too!!!!

    Still cant believe that I fell for that... Man!

    But I am still laughing at my own expense, obviously I am cheap!!!! hahaha..

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