Saber's Drunken Rantings

[Saber]

Inspiration: le Lorimier Spectrum 2001

Bert Blyleven should be in the Hall of Fame. It shouldn't even be a question. He was a great pitcher stuck with some awful teams. If he hit 300 wins, you'd be saying the same thing.

Sandy Koufax and Bob Dylan are both guys admired for their amazing careers, yet no one has any idea what they accomplished outside of a 6 year period of the 1960s.

I had no idea that Ryan Howard was black. Really, I never thought about it. I always imagined a hulking white slugger a la Thome or Giambi.

Jamie Moyer is proof that talent has little bearing on having a successful baseball career. Willie Bloomquist is proof that the Mariners don't understand that that is not a good thing.

Does Vladimir Guerrero speak any language? I've never heard him say anything at all.

Red Sox Fans: Ted Williams :: Yankees fans: Alex Rodriguez

Todd Helton is going to be a real tough Hall of Fame case. His career is the direct inverse of Sandy Koufax. Too bad the Rockies get to find out as they pay him 35 kajillion dollars for the next 76 years.

Did you know that in Japan they play baseball with a ball made of rice, and the losing team gets sacrificed to their savage pagan gods?

Derek Jeter is the human equivalent of a pitchback on defense, with roughly the same range. Deal with it. That doesn't mean he isn't one of the greatest shortstops ever.

Barry Bonds was a Hall of Fame player even if you ended his career with the 2000 season. Deal with that too.

Women actually like when you act like an insensitive jerk. Try it and see.

I would support more Dominicans in the majors leagues only if it meant fewer Puerto Ricans. I think you know where I'm getting at here, people.

Pittsburgh Pirates: Jack Wilson:: Anaheim Angels: Darin Erstad

A quality French Bourdeaux smells like chicken shit. I still dropped 30 bucks on a bottle.

Consider it a testament to David Ortiz's defense that the Red Sox run everyone short of Tuffy Rhodes out there to keep him from putting on a fielder's glove. Especially considering Manny and his Willy Wonka boat ride in left field every day.


Last but not least: The Simpsons: Hank Aaron:: Family Guy: Lou Gehrig

[General]

Rantings indeed. Still a fun read, nice job Saber.

[MarinersFan87]

Jamie Moyer is proof that talent has little bearing on having a successful baseball career. Willie Bloomquist is proof that the Mariners don't understand that that is not a good thing.

[love_that_reefer]

Todd Helton is going to be a real tough Hall of Fame case. His career is the direct inverse of Sandy Koufax. Too bad the Rockies get to find out as they pay him 35 kajillion dollars for the next 76 years.

Not if he keeps up his road numbers!

[DirtyKash]

Like 5 or 6 years ago, I went downtown to some tavern where the Expos were holding a small press conference to present Vladimir Guerrero with his "Expos Player of the Month" award. So after the presentation, Vlad was signing some stuff for fans, and when it was my turn, I got up and asked him to autograph an 8 by 10 picture that I had of him as well as a baseball. While he was signing those, I told him what an awesome player he is and how I think he's got the best outfield arm in baseball. Vladimir just looked at me and didn't say a single word. Didn't even smile. Not sure if I should have said some words in Spanish or whatever, but the guy doesn't talk.

[MarinersFan87]

He was probably turned off by the fact that you weren't wearing any pants DK.

[redsrbetter]

-I loved Blyleven as a kid. I really liked his sidearm delivery and he was just nasty. Even when he got older he was awesome.

-I normally mess up when I am creating my minor league players on a video game when I don't know what nationality they are. I laugh every time I get it wrong and that is often. Howard was one for me as well.

-I can't recall hearing Vlad speak either.

-Reds Fans: Pete Rose

-Ha! On Jeter.

-Agreed on Bonds

-Even if women like it, why do it?

-Put Ortiz at 1B and have Pena DH!

RAGE!

Nice rant bro.

[McKain]

"I had no idea that Ryan Howard was black. Really, I never thought about it. I always imagined a hulking white slugger a la Thome or Giambi."

Anti-Khalil Greene?

"Women actually like when you act like an insensitive jerk. Try it and see."

This doesn't work for those of us lacking your Hispanic flair that all the women love. We get insensitive and we just look like worthless fags to the women.

"Last but not least: The Simpsons: Hank Aaron:: Family Guy: Lou Gehrig"

Lou never came back to be 1/10th of what he once was after being cancelled for a season.

[DirtyKash]

Ha, Khalil Greene. Might be the only time I've heard of a white dude with the name Khalil. Messed up stuff there.

[MarinersFan87]

Isn't his dad really far out or something? Seemed like kind of a weird family, I think I read it in ESPN the magazine or something.

[DirtyKash]

We need more white guys named Jamal or Rasheed.

[redsfan28]

Here's one for ya. I had no idea Shawn Chacon was black until he was traded to the Yankees.

[Kingdom]

I thought Conor Jackson was some tall, black looking dude built like Ken Griffey Jr.
And then I thought Shawn Wooten was a chubby white guy, ala Matty LeCroy.

DAMN NAMES

[Saber]

I thought Shawn Wooten WAS Matt LeCroy.

[Kingdom]

I didn't know either still played.