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Thread: Phillies hire the ball tanner as manager

  1. #1
    Furcals Designated Driver realmofotalk's Avatar
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    Apr 2005
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    Phillies Phillies hire the ball tanner as manager

    @Phillies name former @MLB OF and Dodgers director of player development Gabe Kapler as club’s 54th manager.
    Phillies name Gabe Kapler manager |

    Meh. I know he fits the trend of analytically-inclined younger managers, but I remember not being upset that he lost out to Dave Roberts for the Dodgers' managerial job. I couldn't imagine the veterans in the clubhouse warming up to his new-age quack shit.

    Former MLB player Gabe Kapler says men who want to get stronger should tan their testicles: Gabe Kapler (Former MLB Player): Men Who Want to Get Stronger Should Tan Their Testicles | Complex
    4/20/2011 - GTFO.

  2. #2
    Hall of Famer BuckFoston's Avatar
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    Apr 2005

    Phillies Re: Phillies hire the ball tanner as manager

    This whole coconut oil thing

    On Thursday, Nov. 2, 2017, sports media hit its all-time low.

    While Gabe Kapler was introduced as the new Phillies manager, one reporter, Howard Eskin, actually questioned Kapler and Philadelphia GM, Matt Klentak, about Kapler being fit for the job because he once said he used coconut oil to masturbate. Now, let's break this down.

    If Eskin was trying to go for a cheap laugh, this would've been just fine. Everybody enjoys a good masturbation joke or pun ("Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone you love." -- Annie Hall, 1977). However, Eskin was not going for brevity.

    He was legitimately wondering about whether Kapler was the right man to manage a baseball team because he once said in a blog post, "You’re moisturized and smelling tropical, your teeth are white and your face looks like you’ve just visited a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon. The sun has set, and the moon is out. Perhaps you have a friend nearby, perhaps it’s just you by your lonesome…well, this is awkward. I’ve promised you authenticity, honesty and openness. Take this how you wish and I’ll spare you the step by step. Coconut oil is the world’s greatest lubricant. I can’t help where your mind goes with this. Once the ball leaves the bat, I can’t steer it.”
    Aaannnd here is what the reporter asked -

    "Matt, were there, you expressed that there were no reservations with some of the things you saw, uh, that Gabe had written on his blog and had tweeted. Uh, I’m trying to figure out, if, you said there were none. There are none?

    And as far as Gabe, Gabe, are you proud of some of the stuff — you said you express yourself — I don’t wanna get specific but, uh, people in the room, but there’s an elephant in the room, people here. I mean, Coconut oil is a phrase, uh, I throw it out there. Gabe any reservations and Matt any reservations? Gabe for putting it out there and Matt while you were in the interview process."
    Gabe Kapler; Phillies manager; Howard Eskin; Coconut Oil |
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  3. #3
    Administrator HollywoodLeo's Avatar
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    Apr 2005
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    Re: Phillies hire the ball tanner as manager

    I opened this thread thinking they hired some guy named Ball Tanner wondering who the hell that was.
    LeagueTeamyearsRecordWild CardDivisionPennantsTitles
    MSLSan Diego Padres2034-20592,217-1,9951631
    TBLArizona Diamondbacks2005-20181,216-1,0531963
    TSSLSan Diego Padres2015-2021, 2024-20281,017-9280732
    TSSLTexas Rangers2029-2033396-4140000

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