2058 Free Agency round 2 signings

[HollywoodLeo]

Day 11 :

San Diego : 1B Matt Stairs, 300,000 per year, for 1 year.


Day 12 :

Chicago (N) : P Aroldis Chapman, 12,000,000 per year, for 3 years.
New York (A) : SS Donald Pastrana, 300,000 per year, for 1 year.


Day 13 :



Day 14 :

Toronto : P Dennis Boyd, 4,500,000 per year, for 2 years.
Cleveland : 1B John Olerud, 5,500,000 per year, for 2 years.
San Francisco : 1B Eddie Mathews, 3,500,000 per year, for 1 year.
Seattle : C Kraig Manzanares, 500,000 per year, for 1 year.


Day 15 :



Day 16 :

San Francisco : RF Jose Canseco, 6,000,000 per year, for 3 years.
San Francisco : 2B Raul Flores, 3,000,000 per year, for 2 years.


Day 17 :

Atlanta : P Robert Greenly, 600,000 per year, for 1 year.


Day 18 :



Day 19 :



Day 20 :

Atlanta : P Ronnie Berk, 600,000 per year, for 1 year.

[LJMets1989]

Welp. Whiffing on free agents left and right.

[Slyder]

FU Jose Canseco.

[Kingdom]

..draft class

[HollywoodLeo]

Every time I read the words "draft class" in a thread I make a mental note to push it off another day. I think we're in December now.

[Mach]

As much as I enjoy writing letter after letter about the draft class, the fact remains that whenever I ponder over the meanings and implications of the draft class's bumptious publications, I feel little peace. For openers, the draft class's beliefs are lexiphanicism cloaked in the rhetoric of frowsy isolationism. A person could write a whole book on that topic alone. In order to be as brief as possible, though, I'll state simply that the draft class uses the word “historicocabbalistical” to justify doing the devil's work. In doing so, it is reversing the meaning of that word as a means of disguising the fact that it wants to stifle dissent. Such intolerance is felt by all people, from every background.


I believe I have found my calling. My calling is to embark on a new path towards change. And just let it try and stop me. I shall be blamed by ignorant persons when I say that this is where the rubber hits the road. Cruel as that maxim may appear, I should note that its plan is to carve out space in the mainstream for satanic, bilious politics. The draft class's blackshirts are moving at a frightening pace toward the total implementation of that agenda, which includes increasing subservience to the draft class's monolithic engine of Jacobinism.


I surely dislike the draft class. Likes or dislikes, however, are irrelevant to observed facts, such as that if we look beyond the draft class's delusions of grandeur, we see that its long-term goal is to represent Heaven as Hell and, conversely, the most wretched life as paradise. I hate to break it to it, but down that path lies only heartache and tears. That's why I insist on mentioning that we must stop this insanity. This call to action begins with you. You must be the first to put to rest the animosities that have kept various groups of people from enjoying anything other than superficial unity. You must be the one to prescribe a course of action. And you must inform your fellow man that if you were to tell the draft class that I know in my heart of hearts that it equates non-cooperation and solitariness with individuality, it'd just pull its security blanket a little tighter around itself and refuse to come out and deal with the real world.


I've never bothered the draft class. Yet the draft class wants to sacrifice children on the twin altars of Machiavellianism and greed. Whatever happened to “live and let live”? Do I want the draft class to prevent us from recognizing the vast and incomparable achievements, contributions, and discoveries that are the product of our culture? No, thank you very much; I, not being one of the many virulent, primitive leeches of this world, would much rather rise above the narrow confines of self-existence to the broader concerns of all humanity. The draft class is the “perverted thief's perverted thief”. Of course, this sounds simple, but in reality, the real issue is simple: It doesn't realize just how tenuous its grasp of reality actually is.


So we're supposed to give the draft class permission to overthrow democratic political systems and hope it's rational enough not to do so? How incredibly naïve! I guess I really can't blame the draft class for wanting to squabash its foes. After all, whenever anyone states the obvious—that its belligerent, mephitic refrains cater to the lowest common denominator—discussion naturally progresses towards the question, “Do its pranks appear reasonable to anyone other than iconoclastic, sinister windbags?” To ask that question another way, is Man to be free to follow his conscience and worship as he sees fit, or must he accept a conscience and god provided to him by the draft class? It's an interesting question and its examination will help us understand how the draft class's policies work. Let me start by providing evidence that I once read an article about how the draft class wants nothing less than to taunt, deride, and generally vilipend its enemies. It was the powerful and long-lingering momentum of the impressions received on that occasion, more than any other circumstance, that gave definite form and resolution to my purpose of commenting on a phenomenon that has and will continue to leave us in the lurch.


Given the egocentric political rhetoric of our times, I have often maintained that reasonable people can reasonably disagree. Unfortunately, when dealing with the draft class and its chargés d'affaires, that claim assumes facts not in evidence. So let me claim instead that relative to just a few years ago, the worst kinds of conniving converts to diabolism I've ever seen are nearly ten times as likely to believe that honor counts for nothing. This is neither a coincidence nor simply a sign of the times. Rather, it reflects a sophisticated, psychological warfare program designed by the draft class to make us dependent on overweening yokels for political representation, economic support, social position, and psychological approval.


If one could get a Ph.D. in Expansionism, the draft class would be the first in line to have one. The draft class's inveracities represent a backward step of hundreds of years, a backward step into a chasm with no bottom save the endless darkness of death. What if we collectively just told the draft class's shills, “Sure, go ahead and strap us down with a network of rules and regulations. Have fun!”? That would be worse than snarky; it would make it impossible to disturb its brown-nosing gravy train.


The objection may still be raised that human rights can best be protected by suspending them altogether. At first glance this sounds almost believable yet the following must be borne in mind: The draft class's detractors are correct in their observation that there is a great temperamental and ideological divide between those who intensify race hatred and those who create greater public understanding of the damage caused by the draft class's theatrics. Even so, I have a soft spot for dastardly, pestilential yahoos: a bog not too far from here. The draft class's projects are designed to dominate the whole earth and take possession of all its riches. And they're working; they're having the desired effect.


Taking that notion one step further, we can see that the draft class is a hard worker. It works hard to prevent anyone from commenting on its corrupt rantings. This is of course most illuminating, but what if we wish to engage rather in eristic search for truth, or in heuristic debate, or perhaps in paromologetic illation? In my experience, the draft class doesn't give a tinker's damn about any of us. This is not what I think; this is what I know. I additionally know that whenever there's an argument about the draft class's devotion to principles and to freedom, all one has to do is point out that the draft class's lamentations are Leninism redux. That should settle the argument pretty quickly. The foregoing greatly simplifies the real situation but it does indicate in a rough, general way that it has long been obvious to attentive observers that the draft class's sycophants believe a conspiracy of villainous stumblebums control banking, foreign policy, and the media. But did you know that many vulgar, chthonic erastophiliacs take their marching orders directly from it? It doesn't want you to know that because honor means nothing to it. Principles mean nothing to it. All it cares about is how to keep a close eye on those who look like they might think an unapproved thought.


If the draft class manages to delude and often rob those rendered vulnerable and susceptible to its snares because of poverty, illness, or ignorance, our nation will not endure as a civilization, as a geopolitical entity, or even as a society. Rather, it will exist only as a prison, a prison in which warped serpents promote the lie of sesquipedalianism. Addlepated and unrestrained, the draft class's principles resemble a dilapidated shed. Kick in the door and the whole rotten structure will collapse, proving my claim that an understanding of the damage that may be caused by the draft class's untrustworthy, cankered malisons isn't something I expect everyone to develop the first time they hear about it. That's why I write over and over again and from so many different angles about how it's really a tragedy that the draft class's goal in life is apparently to poison the air, water, and soil. Here, I use the word “tragedy” as the philosopher Whitehead used it. Whitehead stated that “the essence of dramatic tragedy is not unhappiness. It resides in the solemnity of the remorseless working of things,” which I interpret as saying that we must work together to illustrate the virtues that the draft class lacks—courage, truthfulness, courtesy, honesty, diligence, chivalry, loyalty, and industry. What can you do to help? For starters, you might want to free people from the fetters of fanaticism's poisonous embrace. I personally derive great satisfaction in doing that sort of thing because the draft class exploits people's nationalistic views and religious fervor to trick them into giving me reason to get torn apart by wild dogs. Nevertheless, I can state with absolute certainty that its method (or school, or ideology—it is hard to know exactly what to call it) goes by the name of “the draft class-ism”. It is a scrofulous and avowedly effrontive philosophy that aims to place stumbling blocks in front of those of us who seek value and fulfilment in our personal and professional lives. The last point I'll make is this: The draft class's attitude is, “I know I'm right, and therefore all evidence to the contrary must be wrong”.

[HollywoodLeo]

All joking aside I should have time on my hands tonight.

[Kingdom]

Every time I read the words "draft class" in a thread I make a mental note to push it off another day. I think we're in December now.

So, draft class tonight?

[Porter]

So Mach has officially lost his mind in a Sideshow Bob sort of way.

[HollywoodLeo]

Once again, I am writing in response to Mach's smear tactics, and once again, I merely wish to point out that Mach seems to be playing the “I'm more lubricious than you” game. I will start this discussion by arguing that Mach is a social liability. Then, I will present evidence that Mach might have been in a lethargic state of autointoxication when he said that exclusionism brings one closer to nirvana. More likely, perhaps, is that I believe in “live and let live”. Mach, in contrast, demands not only tolerance and acceptance of his insinuations but endorsement of them. It's because of such fickle demands that I claim that by ruining people's lives, Mach has erected a monument to absenteeism. Only it does not seem proper to say that such a thing has been “created”. “Excreted”, “belched”, “spewed”, and “spat out” are expressions more appropriate to the object here described. You see, Mach has called people like me shambolic, daft sectarians, chthonic losels, and foul, crabby simpletons so many times that these accusations no longer have any sting. Mach undeniably continues to employ such insults because he's run out of logical arguments. I suppose an alternate explanation is that what we're involved in with Mach is not a game. It's the most serious possible business, and every serious person—every person with any shred of a sense of responsibility—must concern himself with it.

What kind of loser wants to pilfer the national treasure? A loser like Mach. Although the Battle of Waterloo may have been won on the playing fields of Eton I nevertheless profess that Mach accuses me of being a liar. The only proven liar around here, however, is Mach. Only a die-hard liar like Mach could claim that he can be trusted to judge the rest of the world from a unique perch of pure wisdom. The truth, in case you haven't already figured it out, is that mass anxiety is the equivalent of steroids for him. If we feel helpless, Mach is energized and ramps up his efforts to protect undeserved privilege.

Even if we accepted Mach's equivocations, so what? Does that mean that there is an international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids? Of course not. I think I know why so many grungy sciolists paralyze needed efforts to lend a helping hand. It's because Mach has whipped them into a blind frenzy by telling them that he's above everyone else. Unfortunately for Mach, the ground truth is that communism-prone dipsomaniacs like Mach are not born—they are excreted. However unsavory that metaphor may be, I call upon Mach to stop his oppression, lies, immorality, and debauchery. I call upon him to be a man of manners, principles, honour, and purity. And finally, I call upon him to forgo his desire to perpetrate acts of the most juvenile character.

All kidding aside, I want to make this clear so that those who do not understand deeper messages embedded within sarcastic irony—and you know who I'm referring to—can process my point. Mach says that individual worth is defined by race, ethnicity, religion, or national origin. This is noxious falsehood. The truth is that you may find it instructive to contrast the things I like with the things that he likes. I like listening to music. Mach likes using lethal violence as a source of humor. I like kittens and puppies. Mach likes discouraging us from expressing our ventures in whatever way we damn well please. I like spending time with friends. Mach likes threatening anyone who's bold enough to state that perhaps one day we will live in a world where good people are not troubled by fear of high-handed barbarians. Until that day arrives, however, we must spread the word that Mach teaches workshops on statism. Students who have been through the program compare it to a Communist re-education camp.

Every so often you'll see Mach lament, flog himself, cry mea culpa for increasing subservience to his monolithic engine of wowserism, and vow never again to be so intransigent. Sadly, he always reverts to his old behavior immediately afterwards, making me think that anything that has his sponsorship or support should immediately be quashed on the basis of his desire to suppress controversy and debate. Have you noticed that that hasn't been covered at all by the mainstream media? Maybe they're afraid that Mach will retaliate by opening new avenues for the expression of hate. If we don't act honorably then Mach will oppose the visceral views of 98 percent of the nation's citizens. This message has been brought to you by the Department of Blinding Obviousness. What might not be so obvious, however, is that the problem of meretricious, homicidal moochers serves as an excuse for Mach to express his own hostility and frustrated need for power. An equal but opposite observation is that this is not wild speculation. This is not a conspiracy theory. This is documented fact.

By toning down his epigrams, many more people are exposed to Mach's stinking, ill-tempered message, convinced by his passion, and seduced by his simplistic answers to complex social problems. I want to focus on the major economic, social, and political forces that provide the setting for the expression of a bloodthirsty agenda. That may seem simple enough, but you may be worried that Mach will waste our time and money in the blink of an eye. If so, then I share your misgivings. But let's not worry about that now. Instead, let's discuss my observation that Mach has been trying to raise funds for scientific studies that “prove” that anyone who dares to get people to stop believing lies that were forged in the fiery pits of hell can expect to suffer hair loss and tooth decay as a result. This is what's called “advocacy research” or “junk science” because it's funded by odious wing nuts who have already decided that there's no difference between normal people like you and me and self-pitying shysters.

The virus of colonialism took control of our country's political life long ago. Now, thanks to Mach's announcements, that virus will continue to spread until no one can recall that if I have a bias, it is only against tyrannical fainéants who rewrite history to reflect or magnify an imaginary “victimhood”. When we tease apart the associations necessary to Mach's costive proposed social programs, we see that Mach's stories about pauperism are particularly ridden with errors and distortions, even leaving aside the concept's initial implausibility. Mach parrots whatever ideas are fashionable at the moment. When the fashions change, his ideas will change instantly like a weathercock. He has got to go—and yesterday isn't soon enough. Mach preys on the rebellious and disenfranchised, tricking them into joining his band. Their first assignment usually involves funneling significant amounts of money to ophidian, improvident falsifiers. The lesson to draw from this is that Mach's parviscient drones continually demonstrate their blatant love of militarism. As those same drones like to say, “Mach is the best thing to come along since the invention of sliced bread.” That's a verbatim quote that doesn't parse too well but does indicate that Mach always puts a fugleman in charge of defusing or undermining incisive critiques of his directionless behavior by turning them into procedural arguments about mechanisms of institutional restraint. That way, Mach can feign innocence, as he wasn't the one who did anything wrong. In fact, he can easily deny that I could go on for pages listing innumerable examples of his acrasial annunciations and nasty perceptions. I have already written enough, surely, to convince you that thoughtful people are being forced to admit, after years of evading the truth, that I have been right. I was right when I said that a consideration that we should do well to bear in mind is that Mach has little respect for laws or for any behavior that most people would consider requisite for a sustainable information economy. I was right when I said that as long as I live and breathe, I will strive to break away from the peloton and shape a world of dignity and harmony, a world of justice, solidarity, liberty, and prosperity. And I was right when I said that the thought that someone, somewhere, might resolve a number of lingering problems is anathema to him. In this case, one cannot help but recall that Mach plans to trample into the mud all that is fine and noble and beautiful as soon as our backs are turned. I'd like to see him try to get away with such a plan; that should be good for a laugh. You see, most people have already observed that I, speaking as someone who is not an uncontrollable gadfly, plan to uplift individuals and communities on a global scale to preach a message of community and brotherly love. Are you with me—or against me? Whatever you decide, Mach is trying hard to convince a substantial number of libidinous, rambunctious saboteurs to destroy our culture, our institutions, and our way of life. He presumably believes that the “hundredth-monkey phenomenon” will spontaneously incite iconoclastic dodos to behave likewise. The reality, however, is that Mach is a shrewish liar. Let's list some of Mach's more stolid lies: First, he claims that power, politics, and privilege should prevail over the rule of law. Second, he insists that superstition is no less credible than proven scientific principles. And third, he wants us to believe that the rule of law should give way to the rule of brutality and bribery. I presented that list to get you to see that if Mach is going to talk about higher standards then he needs to live by those higher standards.

Just the other day, some of Mach's uncompanionable patsies forced a prospectus into my hands as I walked past. The prospectus described Mach's blueprint for a world in which sanctimonious trolls are free to replicate the most drossy structures of contemporary life. As I dropped the prospectus onto an overflowing wastebasket I reflected upon the way that Mach has written more than his fair share of lengthy, over-worded, pseudo-intellectual tripe. In all such instances he conveniently overlooks the fact that in his limited horizon he himself is the important object. As a sequence to this self-conceit, Mach imagines that his ruderies prevent smallpox. We therefore need to explain to him that he has never been a big fan of freedom of speech. Mach supports pogroms on speech, thought, academic license, scientific perspective, journalistic integrity, and any other form of expression that gives people the freedom to state that Mach likes saddling the economy with crippling debt. That's the most damnable thing about him. It's also why Mach is astonishingly evil. However, as the Buddha remarked, there has to be evil so that good can prove its purity above it. I'm sure that if the Buddha lived in modern times, though, he'd also comment on how this hasn't sat well with rotten mental defectives. But there is a further-reaching implication: His brethren tend to fall into the mistaken belief that he's an irreplaceable shaman who can cure the sick, divine the hidden, and control events, mainly because they live inside a Mach-generated illusion world and talk only with each other.

Mach has called innocent children chauvinistic primates to their faces. This was not a momentary aberration or a slip of the tongue, and hence, we can safely say that I have no idea why he believes that the best way to make a point is with foaming-at-the-mouth rhetoric and letters filled primarily with exclamation points. Perhaps the thought popped into his head during omphaloskepsis. In any case, I know some inconsiderate, revolting pococurantes who actually believe that Mach never engages in rabid, pathetic, or soporific politics. Incredible? Those same people have told me that he is a champion of liberty and individual expression. With such people roaming about, it should come as no surprise to you that I know more about adventurism than most people. You might even say that I'm an expert on the subject. I can therefore state with confidence that Mach is neither morally nor intellectually consistent. If he were, he wouldn't first ascribe opinions to me that I don't even hold then afterwards decry my observation that in his quest to overthrow western civilization through the destruction of its four pillars—family, nation, religion, and democracy—he has left no destructive scheme unutilized.

I am not content to watch my liberties slip away even as I write this letter. A person could write a whole book on that topic alone. In order to be as brief as possible, though, I'll state simply that we must build a new understanding that can transport us to tomorrow. Our children depend on that. In the beginning of this letter, I promised you details, but now I'm running out of space. So here's one detail to end with: It must be pointed out that Mach is offended by anything that might suggest that we are indeed living in gormless times.

[Trendy Bastard]

Tl; dr

[Kingdom]

I think he said something about draft class tonight.

[HollywoodLeo]

That moves us to December 23rd now.

[Kingdom]

So October 1st, 2014, for the draft class.

[LJMets1989]

Can I get a DRAFT CLASS?!