Kingdom

Since the pirates are annual feeders for the rest of the Major Leagues, what if the teams that were legit contenders or honestly thought they were contenders held a draft to break up the pirates 25 man roster? This is how it could break down:



1. Tampa Bay Rays: CF Andrew McCutchen
Hey, this solves the issue of replacing Carl Crawford and it breaks the hearts of the remaining 211 Pittsburgh fans.

2. Detroit Tigers: RP Joel Hanrahan
Detroit's end of the game relievers are Jose Valverde and Joel Zumaya. Two ways to look at it: one guy will eat himself to death, the other gets hurt playing video games. Or, wouldn't it be cool to have 3 guys who reach around 100mph?

3. Los Angeles Dodgers: 3B Andy LaRoche
Just for the look on realmofotalk's face.

4. Chicago Cubs: RP Octavio Dotel
It's a good time to send Jeff Samardzija down for a solid veteran presence. And he's backup for Marmol failure.

5. Seattle Mariners: LF/1B Garret Jones
A power hitter with some speed. But would his tall frame bring back nightmares of Richie Sexson?

6. Atlanta Braves: RP Evan Meek
We're already due for a braves pitcher to separate or tear his shoulder

7. Colorado Rockies: SP Zach Duke
Here's your ideal Jeff Francis replacement: keeps the walks low, doesn't strikeout anyone, maintains an ugly WHIP

8. San Francisco Giants: LF Lastings Milledge
Their lineup needs speed, power, and a clubhouse headache not on steroids.

9. Los Angeles Angels: RP Brendan Donnellan
Who wouldn't be excited for this reunion?

10. Chicago White Sox: SP Paul Maholm
Just in case that Freddy A. Garcia guy doesn't pan out.

11. Milwaukee Brewers: SP Ross Ohlendorf
I have no idea who's in their rotation after Wolf and Gallardo.

12. Minnesota Twins: 2B Akinori Iwamura
Good defense, steals bases, could prevent the twins from using a guy like Nick Punto

13. St. Louis Cardinals: SP/RP Hayden Penn
Don't all projects or failed projects get resurrected in St. Louis? Once a good Baltimore prospect, now he's a bum with a bad mustache on the pirates. St. Louis welcomes bad mustaches.

14. Boston Red Sox: MR DJ Carrasco
You never know when Daniel Bard's next 102 mph fastball also has his arm attached to the ball. It could happen.

15. Philadelphia Phillies: C Ryan Doumit
They've been to back to back world series, without a catcher anyone can remember.

16. New York Yankees: 1B/C Jeff Clement
Another catcher to play with until Jesus is ready to walk the field.