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San Francisco GiantsAccording to Vin Scully, Alan Embree has a clause in his contract that gives him a $50,000 bonus if he is selected as the starting pitcher in the All-Star Game.
WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?
According to Vin Scully, Alan Embree has a clause in his contract that gives him a $50,000 bonus if he is selected as the starting pitcher in the All-Star Game.
WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?
I did a lot of good things as a sim league GM.
Ah, give me something clever to say here.
I don't know about dumbest, but definitely the most obscure.
League Team years Record Wild Card Division Pennants Titles MSL San Diego Padres 2034-2059 2,217-1,995 1 6 3 1 TBL Arizona Diamondbacks 2005-2018 1,216-1,053 1 9 6 3 TSSL San Diego Padres 2015-2021, 2024-2028 1,017-928 0 7 3 2 TSSL Texas Rangers 2029-2033 396-414 0 0 0 0
I mean...what are the chances of this happening? This would be like putting a $50,000 clause in David Wells' contract for being voted the most fit player in baseball.
I did a lot of good things as a sim league GM.
Ah, give me something clever to say here.
I have a hard time calling it dumb because they're not going to lose the money.
Dumb would be a clause that is a waste of money.
It's just obscure for the reasons you stated....that it's not going to happen in a million years.
A dumb clause is the one the Red Sox gave Curt Schilling if he gets at least one 3rd place vote in the Cy Young balloting.
All Curt has to do is convince one voter to throw one 3rd place vote his way and he's however many dollars it was richer.
(Not going to happen now thanks to the injury, but still.)
League Team years Record Wild Card Division Pennants Titles MSL San Diego Padres 2034-2059 2,217-1,995 1 6 3 1 TBL Arizona Diamondbacks 2005-2018 1,216-1,053 1 9 6 3 TSSL San Diego Padres 2015-2021, 2024-2028 1,017-928 0 7 3 2 TSSL Texas Rangers 2029-2033 396-414 0 0 0 0
Well, why not just offer Mike Hampton and Carl Pavano 6 billion if they can make 33 starts in any individual season?
I say go for it.
And, while we're at it, the Padres should give Chris Young 7 mil if he hits 20 HRs in a season.
League Team years Record Wild Card Division Pennants Titles MSL San Diego Padres 2034-2059 2,217-1,995 1 6 3 1 TBL Arizona Diamondbacks 2005-2018 1,216-1,053 1 9 6 3 TSSL San Diego Padres 2015-2021, 2024-2028 1,017-928 0 7 3 2 TSSL Texas Rangers 2029-2033 396-414 0 0 0 0
And John Sterling gets 5 trillion if he can go one year without completely ****ing up a call
I wouldn't make those clauses for Pavano and Hampton. If I were them I'd be making a start even if my arms no longer worked.
Marshall: MILSWANCAs?
Ted: Wait, I can get this. Mothers I'd like to sleep with and never call again.
Barney: Circle gets the square!
The 2074 MSL NL Gold Glove Recipient at Third Base.
It might not be your call, though.
League Team years Record Wild Card Division Pennants Titles MSL San Diego Padres 2034-2059 2,217-1,995 1 6 3 1 TBL Arizona Diamondbacks 2005-2018 1,216-1,053 1 9 6 3 TSSL San Diego Padres 2015-2021, 2024-2028 1,017-928 0 7 3 2 TSSL Texas Rangers 2029-2033 396-414 0 0 0 0
Who's dumb enough to do that? Hank Steinbrenner?
Wait, wait, nevermind.
Marshall: MILSWANCAs?
Ted: Wait, I can get this. Mothers I'd like to sleep with and never call again.
Barney: Circle gets the square!
The 2074 MSL NL Gold Glove Recipient at Third Base.
There are a lot of dumb clauses like that. Brad Lidge get bonuses if he wins the Silver Slugger award. Charlie Finley used to give money for players to grow mustaches. Mark Teixeira has a clause that says he receives money for winning the AL MVP. Oops! If I played for the Cardinals, I would have free Budweiser in my contract and have my own key to the brewery.
I never knew Embree had a clause like that...oh well. He's been pitching pretty well, however the ASG is a just a wee bit far-fetched.
I still think that the $300+ bonus for a mustache is pretty wild. Never thought that growing a fu manchu would result in a bonus.
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