"We're going to talk about Alex Rodriguez for 25 minutes, then talk about the Yankees pitching rotation for another 15 minutes. Even though the Yankees are below .500 at 8-10, we're still going to talk about them and how much we would like to suck Alex Rodriguez's d*ck.
Then for 15 minutes we're going to talk about Barry Bonds and break down his 0 for 5 against the Dodgers tonight. If we have time, we'll let you know the final score of that Dodger game.
Then in the remaining seconds, we'll show NBA playoff scores and the remaining MLB scores in a flurry of quick highlights and Stuart Scott's idiotic rap lyric quotes.
Tune in!"