Saber's Analysis of the Dodgers' Roster

[realmofotalk]

Catchers
Russell Martin - .301 average is a fluke, only batting .254 on the road, sucks
Sandy Alomar - sucks, needs to fall off the face of the planet soon
Toby Hall - a total hack, sucks

Infielders
Rafael Furcal - overpaid drunken asshole, overrated and sucks
Nomar Garciaparra - having a fluke season, hitting .200 indoors, can't cut it at first base, sucks
Cesar Izturis - sucks at the plate, still sucks batting lefthanded, overrated defensively
Jeff Kent - Who cares if he's a jerk? All people should care is that he sucks as a 2nd baseman.
Ramon E. Martinez - sucks
Olmedo Saenz - the worst platoon player in all of baseball, sucks

Outfielders
Jose Cruz - a has been who sucks
J.D. Drew - overpaid, always injured, sucks
Andre Ethier - a hack on the field, .300+ average is a fluke, Billy Beane will still win this trade you just watch
Matt Kemp - .300+ average a fluke, will come back down to earth
Kenny Lofton - chokes in the playoffs, enough said

Pitchers
Danys Baez - to label him "sucks" would be an understatement
Joe Beimel - who?
Chad Billingsley - overrated, It's safe to say he isn't going to be a building block.
Jonathan Broxton - fat, lucky 3.00 ERA won't last, has a high 1.25 WHIP
Hong Chih Kuo - see Baez
Derek Lowe - overpaid and inconsistent..ly sucks
Brad Penny - fat glorified 6-inning pitcher, .246 batting average allowed isn't dominating
Odalis Perez - sucks, duh
Takashi Saito - He's a Japanese pitcher so of course he sucks
Aaron Sele - stole a World Series ring while with the Angels, having a fluke season
Brett Tomko - never been a good pitcher, in fact he sucks
Mark Hendrickson - has one of the worst BABIP in the league, translation: he sucks

Disabled List
Eric Gagne - Arm problems are hiding the fact that he sucks.
The rest are too insignificant to mention.

[HollywoodLeo]

Saber is a baseball genius