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Thread: Sick Griffey 'joke' from 'TheOnion.com'...

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    Hall of Famer CincyRedsFan30's Avatar
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    Sick Griffey 'joke' from 'TheOnion.com'...

    Ken Griffey Jr. Diagnosed With Hamstring Cancer
    August 24, 2006 | Onion Sports

    CINCINNATI—Just days after the Reds centerfielder learned that his father Ken Sr. has prostate cancer and his mother Birdie would be undergoing surgery for colon cancer, a routine medical checkup Tuesday resulted in more bad news for Ken Griffey Jr., as doctors found a large malignant tumor on his right semitendinosus hamstring muscle. "This is the rarest and deadliest form of hamstring cancer," Reds trainer Mark Mann said. "The only way to eradicate the cancer is to go in and slice the three hamstring muscles completely in half and permanently remove them—as well as the three titanium screws holding them in place—from his leg." Next Wednesday, Griffey Jr. and Griffey Sr. are expected to become the first father-son duo to undergo chemotherapy together.


    The Simpson family gathers around, as Homer places Bart's passed test on the fridge.)

    Homer: We're proud of you, boy.

    Bart: Thanks, Dad. But part of this D-minus belongs to God.

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    Guess Who's Back missionhockey21's Avatar
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    Ah, the world of cancer related jokes. Think of the sleazy possibilities.

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    Furcals Designated Driver realmofotalk's Avatar
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    McKain wants you to know that maybe next time, they'll not insult the Reds so they don't hurt your precious feelings.

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    Hall of Famer McKain's Avatar
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    Maybe next time, they won't insult the Reds and won't hur--

    HEY **** YOU that's my line

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    Hall of Famer CincyRedsFan30's Avatar
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    Since his parents actually have those type of health issues, I find it extremely classless to make jokes like that. Cancer isn't a joking matter, as I should know due to having a few family members who have had it.
    The Simpson family gathers around, as Homer places Bart's passed test on the fridge.)

    Homer: We're proud of you, boy.

    Bart: Thanks, Dad. But part of this D-minus belongs to God.

  6. #6
    I thought it was funny. Really sad to hear about his parents though, that was unnecessary.
    "Players can't get better over time." -GiantsFanatic

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    AUTOBOTS, ROLL OUT! Molina00's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CincyRedsFan30
    Since his parents actually have those type of health issues, I find it extremely classless to make jokes like that.
    I couldn't agree more there. I can't really speak from experience since I have never known anyone with cancer, but that's a pretty dispicable move on the part of the TheOnion.
    Integrity can accommodate the inadvertent error and the honest difference of opinion; it cannot accommodate deceit or subordination of principle.


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    Hall of Famer CincyRedsFan30's Avatar
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    See, that's why I don't think it's funny. If his parents were OK healthwise and weren't even brought into the article at all it wouldn't be as bad. I still don't think cancer is much of a joking matter because all those affected by it, but at least they wouldn't be trying to make light of a real-life situation someone is actually going through.
    The Simpson family gathers around, as Homer places Bart's passed test on the fridge.)

    Homer: We're proud of you, boy.

    Bart: Thanks, Dad. But part of this D-minus belongs to God.

  9. #9
    Oh, I agree about that, its a bit hurtful considering his parents' condition.
    "Players can't get better over time." -GiantsFanatic

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    Guess Who's Back missionhockey21's Avatar
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    The hammy stuff? No one cares about that. It's an easy joke as it is, but to bring in real people who are close to him and have issues that will effect their lives is just about the definition of low class. Besides, it felt totally un-neccesary even for a low class joke, considering that there hasn't been any news on Griffey re-injuring his hamstring... so why go there with his parents?

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    This just in:

    The writer of the nasty Griffey family rumor on the website known as "TheOnion" has suddenly come down with chronic butt kicking disease. This deadly form of sickness can be fatal and in most cases has irritated the patient's ability to produce any form of fecies.

    Its sounds simple enough, but it is a "pain in the neck" as this anonymous writer has so easily put it. "It is a desease that causes my foot to go directly in my ass without knowledge of when it is coming. It has created havoc in my life as people are wondering what I am doing when I suddenly drop kick myself. A few times my foot connected with my private areas and I ended up screaming like a little girl right in front of my now ex-girlfriend's parents." This illness has completely ruined this guys life. And the worst part about it is that it is hereditary

  12. #12
    C you there
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    is any of this true about Griffey Jr

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    Dusty sucks redsfan28's Avatar
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    DaNi3L, you need to be banned for even thinking this was true. The only truth to it is that both his parents DO have cancer.
    rf28

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by redsfan28
    DaNi3L, you need to be banned for even thinking this was true. The only truth to it is that both his parents DO have cancer.
    hey now I don't read much news around and as much as griffey gets injured as of late i am bit to worried about him getting hurt again or needing something like this, I didn't read it all I didn't want to thinking it may be true didn't want to believe it

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    Administrator HollywoodLeo's Avatar
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    theonion.com is a sports satire site. Don't believe anything you read there.
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