General Free Agent Discussion

[Mach]

you can't.

[305]

This might be a dumb question and it may have been answered already but I need to know. Can you extend existing players that are on their last year of their deals? And if you can where do you get those figures from? Thanks.

Good idea for the future... not sure how youd implement it though.

[Teflon John]

When are we doing another nomination? Shits dragging

[Mach]

whenever Witlon gets to it. He's not good at thinking for himself. I'll tell him to do it tomorrow.

[NFLRA]

I may or may not be available tomorrow, so can you put in a nomination for Charles Tillman for me?

[prettyflacco]

Dammit Andre Johnson fomo right now. He was incredibly less efficient last yr and typically ineffective in the red zone but I can't believe I let him get away for $4.5M

[Witlon]

whenever Witlon gets to it. He's not good at thinking for himself. I'll tell him to do it tomorrow.

He was told on Sunday that we were only doing 2 nomination periods, but yeah, I'll open it up in 5.

[Kingdom]

He was told on Sunday that we were only doing 2 nomination periods, but yeah, I'll open it up in 5.

Check the Post Cuts thread too

[murph]

Wow, signed MJ for $4.5m, bringing him back to Zim! (fingers crossed this can happen IRL as well)

Vikes D-Line now contains the following pass-rushers:
- Charles Johnson
- Sharrif Floyd (3-tech)
- Everson Griffen
- Michael Johnson

Our corners won't have to worry about anything past the 5 yard bump zone because if the ball isn't in the air by then, the QB will be on his back! 7-man protection and 2-step drop? Here comes Harrison Smith, BOOM!

[TheBuckeyeKing]

Why isn't there a dumpster fire going on here Mach? Slacking in the entertainment department.

[Mach]

what?! The retirement dead money wasn't enough for you? Hmph. Hang on.

[Mach]

If you are stimulated by new ideas and if you can think for yourself rather than simply accept what TheBuckeyeKing dishes out, I think you will find this letter of interest. The key point of the following exposition is that I'd like very much to respond to TheBuckeyeKing's claim that national-security interests can and should be sidestepped whenever his personal interests are at stake. Unfortunately, taking into account TheBuckeyeKing's background, education, and intelligence, I am quite sure that TheBuckeyeKing would not be able to understand my response. Hence, let me say simply this: Besides being completely offensive and abusive, TheBuckeyeKing's methods of interpretation are seriously defamatory. Understanding this generates a premise for stripping the unjust power from those who seek power over others and over nature. Furthermore, it leads in turn to an understanding of how TheBuckeyeKing is unhappy that people like me want to expose false prophets who preach that all it takes to solve our social woes are shotgun marriages, heavy-handed divorce laws, and a return to some mythical 1950s Shangri-la. Such cavils notwithstanding, if he manages to impose theological straightjackets on scriptural interpretation, our nation will not endure as a civilization, as a geopolitical entity, or even as a society. Rather, it will exist only as a prison, a prison in which incomprehensible ergophobics crush people to the earth and then claim the right to trample on them forever because they are prostrate.
TheBuckeyeKing maintains a “Big Brother” dossier of information about everyone he distrusts to use as a potential career-ruining weapon. Is your name listed in that dossier? While I don't know the answer to that particular question, I do know that our battle with TheBuckeyeKing is a battle between spiritualism and miserabilism, between tradition and subversion, between the defenders of Western civilization and its enemies. With the battle lines drawn as such, it is abundantly clear that when I first became aware of TheBuckeyeKing's covert invasion into our thought processes, all I could think was how if we do nothing, TheBuckeyeKing will keep on eavesdropping on all types of private conversations. One cannot change this all in a moment, but one can weed out people like TheBuckeyeKing who have deceived, betrayed, and exploited us.
It behooves us to remember that presenteeism is a plague upon us all, a pox that will likely not be erased in the lifetime of any reader of this letter. To TheBuckeyeKing, however, it's merely a convenient mechanism for uprooting our very heritage and paving the way for his own coldhearted value system. What's the most appropriate way to upbraid him for being so unstable? The answer is education—the real thing, not the vagarious facsimile that TheBuckeyeKing promotes in order to frog-march his detractors into the nearest detention center or internment camp. Many of our problems would be solved if only more people were educated to learn that TheBuckeyeKing extricates himself from difficulty by intrigue, by chicanery, by dissimulation, by trimming, by an untruth, by an injustice. The simple, regrettable truth is that he insisted he'd never inculcate money-grubbing notions. Unfortunately, it wasn't long before he did exactly that. He promised he'd never carry our once-proud nation deeper into savagery and depravity, but then he did just that—and worse. At least TheBuckeyeKing is consistent, but if you were to try to tell his factotums that the hostility and boredom he is experiencing internally is quite evident externally, they'd close their eyes and put their hands over their ears. They are, as the psychologists say, in denial. They don't want to hear that every time TheBuckeyeKing tries, he gets increasingly successful in his attempts to reduce religion to a consumer item in a spiritual supermarket. This dangerous trend means not only death for free thought but for imagination as well.
I challenge all of the jealous brawlers out there to consider this: I overheard one of TheBuckeyeKing's flunkies say, “The Universe belongs to TheBuckeyeKing by right.” This quotation demonstrates the power of language as it epitomizes the “us/them” dichotomy within hegemonic discourse. As for me, I prefer to use language to plant markers that define the limits of what is philopolemical and what is not. This is a free country, and I avow we ought to keep it that way.
For TheBuckeyeKing's disagreeable plans to succeed, he needs to dumb down our society. An uninformed populace is easier to control and manipulate than an educated populace. Some day, schoolchildren will stop being required to learn the meanings of words like “biblicopsychological” and “crystallographically”. They will be incapable of comprehending that TheBuckeyeKing's cock-and-bull stories cannot stand on their own merit. That's why they're dependent on elaborate artifices and explanatory stories to convince us that the cure for evil is more evil. If TheBuckeyeKing manages to take away what few freedoms we have left, civilization will crumble almost immediately. Investigators from a future era will need to sift through the charred wreckage of our society looking for the black box to figure out what happened. Maybe they'll even discover that for the first time ever, a majority of presumptuous criminal masterminds have been questioning their role in helping TheBuckeyeKing tear down everything that can possibly be regarded as a support of cultural elevation. I feel that we should take advantage of this historic opportunity and break away from the peloton and disabuse TheBuckeyeKing of the notion that the Eleventh Commandment is, “Thou shalt champion censorship in the name of free speech, intolerance in the name of tolerance, and oppression in the name of freedom”.
As I often like to put it, if you hear TheBuckeyeKing spouting off about how he is a refined gentleman with the soundest education and morals you can imagine, you should tell him that this, of itself, is prima facie evidence that his activities bespeak a spiritual crassness, a materialistic and short-sighted stupidity that will pander to our worst fears as soon as our backs are turned. Better yet, tell him to stop getting his opinions from immature flimflammers and start doing some research of his own. If he wants to drag everything that is truly great into the gutter, let him wear the opprobrium of that decision. While TheBuckeyeKing might be able to convince the canaille that ethical responsibility is merely a trammel of earthbound mortals and should not be required of a demigod like him, I hope the readers of this letter can tell that I want to make this clear so that those who do not understand deeper messages embedded within sarcastic irony—and you know who I'm referring to—can process my point. I know through painful experience that his behavior is rarely more refined than that of a banana-eating jungle monkey. The more I reflect on such things, the more deeply I believe that TheBuckeyeKing's behavior towards minorities has degenerated into tokenism and meaningless gestures. It's also true that his wheelings and dealings have gotten way out of hand, but that'll have to be a subject for another letter.
TheBuckeyeKing's fabulous success is not firmly connected with meritorious ability. In just a moment I'll discuss some important recent developments based on this fundamental truth. First, however, I want to add a bit to what I wrote previously. If TheBuckeyeKing would abandon his name-calling and false dichotomies it would be much easier for me to convince the government to clamp down hard on TheBuckeyeKing's press releases. Who among you reading these words is not moved to improve the living conditions of the most vulnerable in our society—the sick, the old, the disabled, the unemployed, and our youth—all of whose lives are made miserable by TheBuckeyeKing? While he is undeniably entitled to ignore good advice from intelligent people, he secretly has been scheming to effect complete and total control over every human being on the planet. This is exactly the sort of scandal that most people understand and appreciate. It's what opens people's eyes to the reality that TheBuckeyeKing's précis are evil. They're evil because they cause global warming; they make your teeth fall out; they give you spots; they incite nuclear war. And, as if that weren't enough, you may find it instructive to contrast the things I like with the things that TheBuckeyeKing likes. I like listening to music. TheBuckeyeKing likes ignoring compromise and focusing solely on his personal agenda. I like kittens and puppies. TheBuckeyeKing likes evoking a misdirected response to genuine unresolved grievances. I like spending time with friends. TheBuckeyeKing likes threatening anyone who's bold enough to state that when you tell TheBuckeyeKing's vicegerents that most rancorous stirrers lost interest in their own future long before they joined TheBuckeyeKing's coalition of vain, meddlesome scapegraces and militant, merciless present-day robber barons, they begin to get fidgety and their eyes begin to wander. They really don't care. They have no interest in hearing that those of us who are still sane, those of us who still have a firm grip on reality, those of us who still warrant that the final product of his antics will be a dysfunctional society, wherein every natural self-defense mechanism has been short-circuited in some catty effort to gain short-term financial benefits, have an obligation to do more than just observe what he is doing from a safe distance. We have an obligation to enable adversaries to meet each other and establish direct personal bonds that contradict the stereotypes they rely upon to power their manipulative positions. We have an obligation to strengthen our roots so we can weather the storms that threaten our foundation. And we have an obligation to change the minds of those who combine the most sordid avarice with the most invincible hatred of the very people who tolerate and enrich him.
I recently overheard a couple of nefarious blatherskites say that the more strepitant the communication, the more perspicuous the message. Here, again, we encounter the blurred thinking that is characteristic of this TheBuckeyeKing-induced era of slogans and propaganda. So he avows that he's inflexibly honest, thoroughly patriotic, and eminently solicitous to promote, in all proper ways, the public good? Interesting viewpoint. Here's another: We've all heard his pontifical pronouncement that no one is smart enough to see through his transparent lies. Obviously, that conclusion is based on unconfirmed gossip, questionably-sourced reports, and blatant speculation, but it's also the case that TheBuckeyeKing has allowed himself to become a spokesman for the same point of view shared by alabandical mafia dons, wanton sideshow barkers, and the worst classes of debauched cozeners I've ever seen while masquerading as an outspoken radical bucking the system. If I chose to do so I could write exclusively about his brazen snow jobs and never be lacking for material. Nonetheless, I'd rather spend some time discussing how you shouldn't take threats made by destructive opportunists too seriously. Of that I am certain because as every grade-school student learns, it's not nice to control your bank account, your employment, your personal safety, and your mind. Apparently, TheBuckeyeKing missed that day in class. Otherwise, he'd know that I know some officious erastophiliacs who actually believe that TheBuckeyeKing's crimes are victimless. Incredible? Those same people have told me that there is something intellectually provocative in the tired rehashing of misguided stereotypes. With such people roaming about, it should come as no surprise to you that it's best to ignore most of the quotes that TheBuckeyeKing so frequently cites. He takes quotes out of context; uses misleading, irrelevant, and out-of-date quotes; and presents quotes from legitimate authorities used misleadingly to support contentions that they did not intend and that are not true. In short, TheBuckeyeKing is widely seen as unforgivable for fleecing people out of their life's savings. Expect him to lie low for a while and allow public amnesia to expurgate the immediacy of his sins. Afterwards, he'll unequivocally return to saddling the economy with crippling debt. My hope, though, is that the second time around, people will be aware of the fact that TheBuckeyeKing has especially been targeting schools and universities, trying to convert them into indoctrination centers for faddism. Once such institutions of learning can be coerced into suppressing freedom of expression, free inquiry, independent research, and all objectivity, they will become training grounds for footling tosspots who are dedicated to serving TheBuckeyeKing and carrying out his plan of substituting rumor and gossip for bona fide evidence.
I like to say that “scleroticochorioiditis” is sometimes narrowly defined by censorious wretches. He always gets agitated whenever I say things like that. Regrettably, the substance of TheBuckeyeKing's complaints about such statements indicates either that he has entirely misunderstood my point or else that he is deliberately misrepresenting it. Either way, TheBuckeyeKing really intends to organize a whispering campaign against me. The direful sequence of that result, so flagrantly base-minded and baleful in itself, is that horny Svengalis will give me reason to fall firmly into the hands of adversarial, disreputable philosophasters by the end of the decade.
I've never bothered TheBuckeyeKing. Yet TheBuckeyeKing wants to mortgage away our future. Whatever happened to “live and let live”? If I thought that his calumnies had even a snowball's chance in Hell of doing anything good for anyone, then I wouldn't be so critical. As they stand, however, I can conclude only that TheBuckeyeKing plans to sully a profession that's already held in low esteem. He has instructed his intimates not to discuss this or even admit to his plan's existence. Obviously, TheBuckeyeKing knows he has something to hide. Many of the people I've talked to have said that TheBuckeyeKing and his assistants should all be put up against a wall and given traitors' justice. Without commenting on that specifically I'd merely like to point out that we must fight the warped, distorted, misshapen, unwholesome monstrosity that TheBuckeyeKing's jeers have become. As mentioned above, however, that is not enough. It is necessary to do more. It is necessary to guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by TheBuckeyeKing and his mysticism society. Let me close by reminding you that even though I definitely profess that TheBuckeyeKing reads magazines that feature the disrespect, degradation, dehumanization, and exploitation of women and their bodies, I'm not out for blood. I want only justice.

[Kingdom]

Mach wants to have your babies, Buckeye

[TheBuckeyeKing]

Hey that's cheating you just replaced names with TheBuckeyeking. This wasn't from the heart like Todd or UCF.

[Kingdom]

Hey that's cheating you just replaced names with TheBuckeyeking. This wasn't from the heart like Todd or UCF.

If it's todd, it's coming from his 2 inch brain.